Mar 29

A disappointed woman sits with upset boyfriend seated behind her

The following is a list of men that women should avoid for fear of disappointment once the honeymoon period is over. The list was compiled based on the feedback I often hear from women whenever their new dream guy turned out to be a nightmare. I find that because the right questions aren’t asked initially and a man’s lifestyle, background and habits aren’t examined many women take us at face value only to feel salty about it down the road. I will say that I am not just some writer pointing fingers as I see parts of myself within this list; being a Stargazer with a little bit of Trick Baby to me has made my love-life a journey of mountains and valleys. So don’t be offended if you see yourself in there. With this in mind I hope that you find the list interesting, entertaining and somewhat educational.

10. The Wolf

Aggressive, somewhat rude, but ridiculously sexy at the same time. The wolf talks fast, moves fast and will lay a woman fast all while her head is still spinning from his wolfy tricks. The problem with the wolf is that he doesn’t want to stick around after dinner unless there is something else that you have to offer. Many women foolishly cling to this guy in hopes of a change or some magical revelation later on in their relationship but it never happens. Wolves have girlfriends, not “a girlfriend” and any woman foolish enough to believe otherwise will end up burnt for it.

Example: Marty Kaan (House of Lies)

9. The Unhappily Married Man

We have written some very good articles as to why a woman should steer clear of a married man but if you need a reminder here it is: Consider the fact that relationships are built on trust and you are starting out with someone who is willing to violate the biggest promise that a man can make to a woman.

Example: Donald Draper (Mad Men)

8. Mister Soft and Sappy

Sure women claim they love guys who are in touch with their feminine side but if that man has no bite to him then there will be problems later on. If I had a nickel for every girl that went from bragging to me about her attentive boyfriend to whining about how soft and “clingy” he is later on, I would be better off today. It’s one thing for a man to have complexities and master the ability to switch from soft to hard at will but if he’s all cushion and cannot defend you when you need him, then chances are he’ll only piss you off later on.

Example: Spencer (King of Queens)

7. The Artist

If it were the 16th Century where a man and his paint brush could become world famous and rich then this would not make my list. If underground rappers were able to make a fortune from freestyling on mixtapes then this would not make my list. If half-written poems and the inability to go job-hunting due to “working on your dream” paid the bills then this would not make my list. But in the 21st century a pure artist is a man that you may have to support if he’s unemployed… How many women are cool with that? If you raised your hand then don’t worry about it, but based on the complaints that I hear on a regular basis regarding men and money – most women aren’t willing to patiently stay with an artist boyfriend. So avoid the artist at all costs.

Example: Norm Gunderson (Fargo)

6. The Wrong Kind of Bad Boy

There are Bad Boys and then there are scrubs. People mistake the 2 quite often because they look alike, speak alike and can even run in the same circle. A real bad boy treats the law as a grey area and will do what he needs to make his money. A scrub is normally a drugged up loser who has no plans and aspirations in life outside of leeching off of whoever lets him. The bad boy sells the drugs whereas the scrub is the hype that buys it. While a Bad Boy is a dumb gamble for any woman to bet on (based on jail time and the stress involved) some can actually work out unlike the scrubs who burn women out quickly.

Example: Brendan Filone (The Sopranos)

5. The Auto-Rich Douchebag

You probably wonder what “Auto-Rich” means, well I am talking about the bratty kids whose parents busted their ass for money just so that Lawrence (their son) can live life on easy-mode. While every kid who was born into wealth isn’t a jerk, there is a set of them that are extremely toxic in the way they go through life. This guy will never take you seriously because he doesn’t even take himself seriously and has no real grasp on money, hardship and struggle. At the end of the day he will think that he bought you, just like he buys everything else – and unless you are cool with being his long-term prostitute you ought to stay clear of his disastrous life.

Example: Roger Sterling (Mad Men)

4. The Trick Baby

Whether Trick Baby was born to a prostitute or not, the fact of the matter is that he grew up with uncles or brothers that are “in the game”. Because of his upbringing his outlook on relationships are that of master and slave. Once a pimp’s game gets into the head of a young man, it is hard for him to look at you the way that you want him to (as an equal benefactor in a relationship). A man under this doctrine only knows life as pimps and prostitutes… the women who fall for a man and does what he says are the prostitutes and the guys with the money and the game are the pimps. You don’t have to “bring him his money” but you had better stay in line and pop his collar.

Example: Priest (Super Fly)

3. The Momma’s Boy

While many male birds were booted from the nest or gently pushed out to take flight, there are a few who left the nest only to post up on the same limb and remain under the wing of momma. This particular guy takes the “love thy mother” a step further in that he still operates as if he is 14 and under her roof. When he meets a girl he has to get the mom’s approval and when it comes to any major decisions Mom is somehow involved again. The biggest issue with a Momma’s Boy comes when it’s time for he and his beau to live together and the girlfriend/wife finds herself having to confront him about his liberal “loans” to the mother and her impromptu visits that come about weekly.

Example: James Darmody (Boardwalk Empire)

2. The Wounded Warrior

Suave, debonaire, handsome, and charming to a fault. This guy gets women onboard fast because of his nonchalance in issuing good favor unlike his brothers who calculate too much. For this reason many women fall for the wounded warrior instantly only to balk later on when they realize that his heart is permanently locked in a case of steel. The wounded warrior is a man who has lost his one true love (the only girl meant for him in this life) either to death or from her breaking his heart. It takes a man years to recover from a blow like this and if you are the fool who enters his life during the recovery phase, you will find it hard to ever replace her.

Example: Spartacus (Spartacus: Vengeance) or James Bond

1. The Stargazer

Eyes to the heavens, focused, driven and constantly working on getting whatever it is… the Stargazer has little to no time for love. Sure he has the urges and wants of a regular man so relationships are welcomed but a woman will never be deemed more important than his goal and it will be very evident as time goes on. It takes a very special type of woman to love a Stargazer as she must be okay with being 2nd place even though he is the spark in her eye. If you’re able to love a genius then this is the man for you, but if you are a gal that is all about making a man go crazy for you then forget about it.

Example: Hugo (Gunnm) or Mark Zuckerberg (The Social Network)

See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.
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  • K

    Wow, what great info. I totally like an Artist and he is given me all the signs that are listed here. I know I need to stay away but I like him a lot!!

    • Bongstar420

      Awwww…depending on a man to fund your activities?

      Why can’t you fund your own activities or him for that matter?

      Just accept that you will be poor till you find some man to pay for access to vag.

  • The Wolf

    I would fall in “The Wolf” cathegory. But I would strongly argue about ” Wolves have girlfriends, not “a girlfriend”” While I usually tend to have some contact with women, I’ve had serious relasionship with certain commitement, with no cheating involved. And that is how I will continue when I find a girl, who is going to be my “a girlfriend” or maybe more. If you fall in one of my sidechicks category, I will warn that I’m not up to anything serious. But I expect woman to take it or leave it, not take it and give me a bad name.

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