As a woman, having and keeping female friends is one of the hardest things in the world. Well at least for me women are very hard to get along with. It’s a constant losing battle. I’ve done a lot of scary things in my lifetime – driving a car at high speeds, starting a business, approaching authority figures, dealing with death and crying over heartbreak; I’ve dealt with ALL of that. Yet nothing has scared me as much as female friends. Which is sad because it’s nice to have female friends with whom you can share your life with and bitch about men to (men need to accept that all girls do it… just like you all share sexual conquests with each other about us :p). The fact is that having female friends is a nightmare. Women are FABULOUS for relationships but a complete nightmare for friendships. Too bad that i fancy men and only have relationships with them.
…I don’t have time for girls to act squatty, bitchy and catty to my face…
Over the course of time, I’ve had some great friendships with girls. They have always bitched about me, said things to hurt me, left me by the roadside, etc. It’s a fucked up situation. Women by nature are horrifically jealous and jealousy is a terrible curse when you deal with a friend that shows no signs of slowing down her life for the friendship. I don’t believe in having a speed limit so that someone can catch up to me. But my speed has caused many women to turn on me.
So I’ve devised a 10 rule plan that I will share with the denizens of The Hall for dealing with catty women. It goes a little something like this.
Nadia’s 10 Rules To Female Friendship:
- If i decide to take you out and you embarrass me, I won’t pull you to the side and say anything. I will go home and you will never hear from me again.
- Deal with the fact that i am attractive, I don’t judge any woman for what SHE looks like however it’s up to you if you want to be miserable that men look at me. We are ALL attractive in our own special way! 😀
- In the friendship, i expect 50% return in the friendship bank just as i give 50% to you.
- I want each friend of mine to be successful. Stop trying to secretly compete with me. It won’t get either of us anywhere!
- Find your talent and do what you do best. Remember, I am always there to cheer you on.
- If you have any sort of problem-bring it to ME first. I’m not bothered about what you’ve heard or haven’t – we’re good.
- Leave your negativity for your other friends; I don’t want to entertain it. Bad days however are a different story. I will listen always, anytime, any day.
- When i call you my “friend”, your security and welfare is as important as mine. Always remember that.
- Dress to Impress. We’re working as a team – fellow biatch. Not against one another.
- If you cannot understand the above 9 rules, Numero Dix shall find you on your way out. Simple.
I made these rules because i don’t have time for girls to act squatty, bitchy and catty to my face and back. There’s no point in it! I’d rather be hated for something I am than liked for something I pretend to be.See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.