Oct 28
Nia says No Scrubs Allowed!
by Senior Editor Nia Syrah
I was having lunch with a girlfriend and out of nowhere, this young cat comes up to our table while on what appeared to be his break from the kitchen, and says “I’m sorry, I just had to come over here and tell you both that I want to buy your food”. We both looked at him like “okay..” but then he reaches in his pocket and was like “I think I have my food stamps in here somewhere”. He pauses, then smiles and says, “naw, I’m just kidding”. She looked at him and chuckled a bit. I gave him the evil eye and went back to my conversation.
I’ve been told in the past that I’m a bitch to men, or that I’m too bourgeois, or that I demand too much. However, I feel that all the above is necessary in order to weed out the bullsh-t, such as a food stamp totin’ kitchen guy who thinks joking about him being broke will break ice with a chick like me. Not saying that I’m above dude, but approach does matter and joke or not, approaching as if you are a broke dude does not cut it. I have had nightmare experiences in the past which give me reasons for not wanting to give the time of day to cats like him, and my reasons seemed to get me pretty far up the relationship ladder. Is it wrong to like the finer things in life? Is it wrong to want to have someone to share the finer things in life with but not have to pick him up, choose the restaurant and foot the bill each and every time?
So with that said, it appears that I truly am a bourgeois bitch and that I don’t deserve a man. Some may also say I’m a gold-digger. Hell, even my boyfriend says I’m high maintenance. I say it’s just a simple desire to be in a relationship with a man who can (at the very least) match me in what I bring to the table. Whether it be in love, sex, and yes..money.
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on October 28, 2009 - 9:46 pm
Okay I’m gonna be nice to you Nia in this comment but you have to see this from the outside in. The man saw two females and decided to break the ice with an OBVIOUS joke. First of all props to him for having the balls to step to you both being that there is usually one potential and her blocker, tis a brave man to risk the CB from a blocker to approach two females.
Your post rings EXTREMELY classist and I think we need to get you into some class tolerance groups or something. So what if he came from the kitchen to hollar at you? He could have been a good dude but you ruined the chances for both you and your girl. This is why you chicks end up with some disease-ridden, trust fund baby driving daddy’s car and yucking it up at overpriced restaurants.
I am 100% siding with the dude here, he sounds like a man who has met your type before and is probably laughing at you.
on October 28, 2009 - 10:44 pm
whoa! this is what u call nice?!? i get what u are saying and yes, dude had to be confident enough to step to our table as he did. however, since i can only speak from my own experiences, i have never had luck with someone who cannot match me monetarily. yes, he may be a good dude..but i personally am not willing to take that chance. now if he came out the kitchen in the chef jacket, that may have been a different story. but he came out with the wet “been doing dishes” belly like he was looking for marge to tell her he soaked in it!
and u say that chicks like me end up with trust fund babies, but this couldn’t be any further from the truth. there is not much sexier than a self-made man…as i said, i like a man to be able to match me, have the means to take care of his business and bring all that to the table. nobody said anything about taking it out his pockets once he got to the table. he just needs to sit down and enjoy the meal without me stripping him of his manhood cuz he can’t afford the table or the company he’s sitting at it with.
on October 28, 2009 - 11:07 pm
WOW…where to begin??? OK…I think that if a dude comes at women like that, it shows he: (a) has confidence in himself because he can make HIMSELF the butt of a joke and (2) has the cash to be able to ACTUALLY buy both meals. (C’mon….dude works there — he knows what meals cost, especially yours since he took your order.) From my personal experience, peeps (women AND men alike) like to see someone that has a sense of humor, that can make light of a situation. Hell….we all know someone or are personally going thru sitches these days where an injection of laughter could REALLY turn a normally dreary day into an up-beat, “damn-that-was-some-good-ish” type of day.
Personally….I can’t say I’m above the type of approach he used. If I can get a smile on a woman’s face, I feel that I have won 45% (rough approximation) of the battles right there. As tense as things are for most peeps, having someone that can consistently make U smile and thus forget (even if only momentarily) the stuff that bogs U down on a regular basis is a plus. And that supercedes class and financial status. Now of course, check the cat out and make sure he/she meets your basic principles (unless U a top-notch comedian/comedienne,jokes ain’t payin no bills)…but don’t rule someone out because of HOW they chose to break the ice — and make U break into a smile.
on October 29, 2009 - 10:16 am
that’s all fine and dandy, gem….but he didn’t make me smile. his joke was weak and it made him look like a gump. i don’t date gumps.
on October 29, 2009 - 7:08 pm
Cool…..but your girl “chuckled a bit”. All it takes is a lil crack in the ice to get things rollin’…..