Do you find yourself discriminating against another driver based on the vehicle that he/she is driving? well I realized that I do and this is due to the habits of more than a few individuals who drive a particular make and model of car. Now I know that dicks come in all shapes and sizes, and that a dick in a Beamer is just as much a dick as he was when he was driving a Corolla but when you come across five Beamers and they all drive like assholes, you are going to anticipate the next one and act according.  Now I am a road bully, I drive aggressively and I lack patience for people who drive slowly, those who seem to be lost and the idiots who pull out from driveways blindly. Oft times being a Sci-Fi head, I wish I had some oil slick or a flame thrower a la Mad Max, to make these idiots pay for trying my patience. Not that I want to hurt them, I just want to burn them but not really.

Urban Cowboys who Giterdun in an F150 – Yeehaw!
So which cars piss me off the most? Me, the aggressive, alpha driver of the road? Well let’s see living in the South has given me an instant rage meter for Ford F-150s, Ford Mustangs and those big six wheel, two lane dominating trucks that the good ‘ol boys down here like to drive. Now if you have a job that demands you haul actual supplies and not just your fat ass, I can appreciate your need for driving one of these eye-sores, but more times than non I bet the ones who have these things just think it’s cute. The reason why I hate these vehicles is because the driver always goes slow, sipping his Coors or whatever the hell and then decides to crank up the engine whenever you pass him. I call it a Nascar Moment, it’s like something switches in their head and they have to show you up. Mustang drivers are good for this too, I assume they bought the muscle car for it’s… well… muscle but they aren’t as annoying because they will actually stay speeding. F-150 boy just wants to be in the lead, so he can slow down and piss me off.

Luxury Cars That EVERYBODY Owns
Luxury cars, oh how I loathe thee. I have come to the decision that no matter how much money I fall into during my lifetime, I will not be pushing one of Hitler’s favorite brand of cars, you know back when he was alive. Being a bit of a war history freak, I know that the Fuhrer loved a nice Mercedes so please excuse me that I have a hard time looking past that whenever I see one of these things cutting people off in traffic. What’s the derogatory term people use? Ahh Nazi Sled, that’s it, not a term I would ever use but the thought does prevail whenever I see one. My trips to Atlanta especially annoys the hell out of me with this class of car, pretentious buppies (black yuppies) galore push their black Benzes to their ego stroking “grown folks nights” in order to impress women who drive the same car. On the road the worst drivers for me have been the luxury car lot. The BMW clones who bully their way to the University and the jackass on his Blackberry doing 15 in a 45. Now Audis and Lexus’s never seem to give me problems, just the German twins, kinda makes you wonder.

Tough Guy in a Chick Car – Argh The Irony Burns!!!
Finally there is the Scion driver, oh my god let me stop laughing because this is hilarious to me. Now call me what you will when I laugh at you for having a “chick car” (ya I’m one of those), but when you try to race my humble car with said chick car, should I not laugh at you? These guys burn up the highway! And don’t try to pass them if you catch one going slow, oh boy that little box errrrrrr Scion will be dropped and revved, all in an attempt to speed by you and grill you, as if the driver wasn’t driving a little bitch car. Hil-frikkin-larious, its on the level with a Volkswagen Bug pushing past you. And what about the tiny Miatas and the Jag-off inside of it? Ever see these guys? Suited, booted, shades on to look cool and pushing a toy car as fast as they can. Sorry if you get offended, but if you’re one of these guys, people are laughing at you.

So is there a car model that is frequented by traffic assholes in your neck of the woods? Is your list different from mine? I’d love to hear it, especially from fellow aggressors on the road. Or am I just a bitter bastard about it?

Related Posts:

1. Loud and Obnoxious a Traveler’s Observation
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3. Live Action Role-Players Scare Me
4. Courting vs Stalking, A Lesson in Self Respect

Written by Greg Dragon on Friday, January 22, 2010 
Filed under Everyday Life, Most Shocking, People are Strange · Tagged with annoying, assholes, bitch, ego, ford mustangs, jackass, luxury cars, nascar