Women I know you are moving to blur the lines even more as time goes on but please for the love of god accept our machismo and stop trying to change it. When a dude doesn’t cry over a breakup or runs to a blog to spew a whole bunch of “bitches ain’t shit” that doesn’t mean he’s insensitive, or cold, it means that he’s a man. When men as a whole start crying because their women dumped them and start bemoaning how much they miss their exes I think it’s time for the UFO to come whisk me off this little planet because at that time we have completely tapped out. The death of the Alpha Male was a hard loss to suffer but for the red blooded gangster male to die too, I just don’t know if that would make anyone happy – yes that means you too.

I’ve seen three friends suffer hardcore breakups, the women stomped on their hearts (two by cheating, one by completely changing and leaving without warning) and moved on with their lives, leaving us friends to build our broken comrade back up to the man he used to be. The three guys were different but only one of them was rebuilt into a monster, the other two are still compassionate and have moved on to better relationships. The monster is the result of a sensitive guy who felt that being vulnerable to the offending woman was a flaw in his design, a wound that was exploited to which he should never reveal again. A guy like this will look at women as garbage, he will tell them what they want to hear, screw them in every way imaginable and laugh when they are the ones crying over his departure. This is the monster built from harsh rejection, but he cannot be fixed by venting and crying to his friends. As a woman it would be better to stay the hell out of his way.

The Way a Man Gets over a Woman
Whenever I have had friends talk to me about their trifling exes that they were in love with, as a fellow male I look to the four solutions: 1. Get him some instant sex with random sex expert – ie: escort. 2. Take him to a strip club and pay for the “extras”. 3. Taking to task a quick rebound hookup with a woman suffering a loss similar to his (instant hookup formula). 4. Slapping him and tell him to get the hell over her, she’s his enemy. Along with the four solutions it is imperative that he gets single guy time with the fellas. This could be video gaming, bar hopping or athletics. When you let your boy suffer the loss solo for too long, he will either call the woman to stalk her as a loser or he will realize that he now hates her to the point of wanting to kill her and will take his angst out on every woman who comes into his life from then. Many players and gamers are the result of one worthless chick and a broken heart.

I have had to apply number 4 to a friend recently but the slap wasn’t physical, it was more a Don Corleone “YOU CAN BE A MAN!”  to check the boy into keeping his balls. And you may read this thinking I am an asshole among men, but this is the norm, this is how we do things. John Favreau gave you women a clue in the movie Swingers when he played a guy who could not get over his ex – go rent and observe. In the end most guys will get over the girl after they remove the love and replace it with a loathing that wipes all of those happy memories away. Only the strongest men can dust themselves off, acknowledge that they really loved that woman and move on into a healthy relationship. A guy like that is a king amongst men, not many of us are built that way, so the harsh recovery of man is a necessity.

Spotting A Monster
One of the issues that makes this topic come up is when a woman has gotten “got” by a monster and is wondering what the hell happened. When she finds out it turns into the “why does society allow men to whore around and become jerks after a breakup but women are told to be strong and move on” blast. Well the difference is simple, you crying to your girlfriends on the phone and venting online (not in a negative way but a “poor me” way) will yield you sympathy and many ears to listen. For a man doing that he will be emasculated, castrated and laughed at as a sort of sub-man, in other words other men will see him as disgrace. So to ask the question of why we treat our wounds the way we do is going back to that old – men are from Mars (planet of war) and women from Venus (planet of love) scenario.

The Construct of a Man and Emotion
As men we are built and taught to get the hell up and dust it off, get back into the frey and “stop being a little bitch”. This construct has been around for generations because as the traditional defenders of the family, there was no room for being a soft, squishy teddy bear that cries. Now in the modern era where the Metrosexual man is king, it becomes very easy to forget that men come from this construct. While your sensitive guy is great for crying and sharing his thoughts with you, telling you how cute your shoes are and keeping up with fashion, you won’t be happy when he can’t step to that asshole that accosted you at the bar,  kill the mouse in the kitchen, or defend your honor when a real man disrespects you. You cannot have it both ways – yes men deal with breakups in a strange, semi-destructive manner but at the end of the day they remain men, a product of the make and model. Big boys don’t cry, but the metrosexual that shares closet space with you probably will. Right Kanye?

Written by Greg Dragon on Monday, February 15, 2010 

Filed under Relationships, The Code of Man, The Dating Game
Tagged with bitch, cheating, love, machismo, metrosexual, rejection, strip club