If you are a single man who doesn’t have a good network of other single friends, I feel your pain and I know the hell that you are going through. Even if you are happily single, the stigmas, prejudices and assumptions made by your once single, now married friends is probably annoying as hell to deal with.

I will catch some heat on this one but it must be said, as a single man I know for a fact that most wives will dislike me as a friend to their husbands. It is not so much what I do, but what their husband’s do in order to seem cool to me. Being that they know their husbands better than anyone else, they know that the things I do without much thought is taboo for a married man but doesn’t mean that the married man won’t try it in order to be “cool”. The other thing about married women is the way they stigmatize single men, here’s a list of the thoughts for those of you not in the know.

1. We’re losers who can’t find a wife (God forbid some people who see your shitty marriage actually like being single)
2. We’re pigs aimed at corrupting their innocent husbands, leading them into infidelity.

The thing that I have also noticed with these wives are that they play by a huge double-standard of boss-bitch when it comes to friendship, outings and trust. Some things that stick out to me are:

1. While the man will go wherever his wife wants to go – boring dinner party, bridal shower, the mall to look for shower curtains. He doesn’t ever get the same sympathy and understanding when it comes to sporting events, athletics and parties at his single friend’s house.
2. If the husband has an attractive single friend he happily brings him around and introduces him to the wife. If the wife has an attractive single friend, she assumes the friend will f-ck her husband so she hides her until they get into their inevitable woman fight and part ways.

Lots of Married guys can be annoying, they posture to show how better they are than us single guys by bragging up their perks, all the while envying our freedom to tell a chick to kiss or ass and move on. They reach back to their supposed glory days of being single and fighting off women so they flirt like cougars and wonder why we don’t do the same. They tell their wives everything, then wonder why we’re left out of the invitation to little Sally’s birthday party. To be honest with you married guy is actually worse than his supposed better half. Married guy forgot what it meant to be single as soon as he started believing his own bullsh-t leading up to the honeymoon.

1. He’s married so automatically that makes him an expert on love and finding Mrs. Right, even though he ducks and dodges his wife at every turn.
2. He expects that being single means that you’re Kevin Hill and thus banging every attractive woman that crosses your path… cause you know “he would” were he single.
3. Tries really hard to convince you that marriage is all of that plus some, while deep down it’s as if he’s trying to convince himself of this.

Married guys are full of crap for the most part, and when they fuck up and do dirt many times it’s us single friends left in the dust holding the blame while their battle axe berates us for being swine. When the two divorce its annoying married guy that comes back to the single friend wonder why it is that you aren’t partying it up 24/7 and trolling for ass like a cooch hound on the prowl. This latter bit is what irks me the most, we all go through it with that friend who had vanished only to reappear when his woman kicks him out. should we be wrong to avoid this guy? I would say unless he is that deep of a friend, do yourself a favor and run for the hills, it is brutal!

In the end for the single guy it feels like you live in a land of wonder, with beautiful nymphs coming and going randomly throughout the days. Once in awhile one will take a friend away to an accompanying island which you aren’t privy to unless you yourself are with a nymph. Some guys wave back to you from the island periodically, others go out of their way to keep in touch with you but inevitably you are not on the same plain any longer. Once in awhile a nymph will toss one poor soul back out of disgust and he is again new to your world. He assumes that he’s welcome, and he forces himself back into the daily activities as if you welcome him. The thing is, sometimes we don’t want you back, we want you married and gone, just like you forgot us when you were over there in couple’s paradise. Think about it.

Written by Greg Dragon on Monday, May 24, 2010 

Filed under Married Life, People are Strange
Tagged with annoyance, assumptions, divorce, envy, friends, marriage, single men, stigmas