Jun 24
So it’s 2010 and labeling is all the rage, with bloggers like myself spilling our collective opinions into the matrix of knowledge that is the internet, once in awhile like minds will create a surge or “meme” that becomes the buzzword or “in thing” for a time until a new one comes together to take its place. The latest buzz-word stems from a topic that I have touched on multiple times – which is the death of the Alpha male. In our modern times we men are reminded almost daily that it is career-driven women that are the new entrepreneurs, career-driven women who are staying single due to unworthy broke men and career-driven women writing articles about how men aren’t of the stock that their daddies were.
When faced with this sort of pressure you can either ignore the ridicule and pursue life or let it beat you down into the ground without much of a fight. In this age of convenience, a man can work from home, have his groceries delivered to him and even call a mechanic to take care of his car without leaving home. Some lucky males are either born into riches, inherited riches or married one of those career-women that supports them in whatever capacity they choose. This ease of living has led to many guys chillin, sitting back and enjoying life on their own terms. These guys may be on the X-Box gaming it up all day, or barely going to college, or simply travelling and taking life on their own terms.
While it may sound romantic in some facets (well not the X-Box portion), it is pretty much frowned upon by our Capitalist society. As a member of the “pull yourself up by your own bootstraps” mentality, I can see why my fellow grinders would be annoyed with an individual who does not do his part to fill the well (so to speak). The women use him as a symbol of “men today” and these poor bastards litter blogs with commentary desperately pleading their case as men who just don’t deem the alpha/beta thing to be that important. I read one blog today which scolded society for making black men have to live up to an unnecessarily high bar of manhood. I then read another that said it was the “bully dads” which have spawned the Omega Male of today.
So let’s define the labels shall we, I can imagine the confusion when these terms are used in articles and there is no clean-cut definition to them, Alpha, Beta, Omega, its as if it’s written in Greek! Oh wait… nevermind.
The Alpha Male
This term is given to the studs, the wolves who are always “into” some chick and have little to no problem getting laid. Normally the leader of a given group, the alpha male is that guy who would be the headliner of a movie, the one who walks ahead of everyone and realistically the guy whose tongue is deep inside a chick’s mouth before the night is over. Alpha males in the animal kingdom are the breeders, the roosters, the studs… you feeling me yet? Yes it’s very much steeped in sexual libido and the art of conquering, leading and being ahead of the game. The alpha male is the power player, he isn’t the quiet bystander or the overlooked thinker.
The Beta Male
Think of your church-going, happily married, “normal relationship” having buddy and that is your beta male. The beta’s may not all be followers or boring everyday-men but they do what society deems as the “right thing to do” in terms of being a human being. These are the guys who are what you call “normal”, you pass by them every day because they are the steady cogs spinning away in this thing called life. If you are not a bull-rushing, take life by the balls and own it type of guy and you aren’t a “no big deal”, live everyday for today type of guy then chances are you are of the Beta build. Beta is standard, it’s the factory model in the male hierarchy, nothing odd, nothing flawed, just normal. Betas look for a woman to love, and when they find her, they marry her, spit out some kids and grow old gracefully within their chosen career.
The Omega Male
The new label for men beyond Alpha and Beta is the Omega male. While Beta’s are roughly 80% of the population, Alpha’s and Omega’s are of the minority. Think of it as High School, you see a couple lady-killers and you see a couple outcasts but for the most part the school is filled with normal kids trying their best to fit in. Not to say that Omega males are outcasts but they don’t have the respect of an Alpha or a Beta male in society. The Omega male has trouble finding women because women simply don’t find them attractive (physically or mentally). They tend to fall to patterns of prolonged juvenile activity, star-gazing and dreaming versus action, improvement or change. Most Omega males are happy being Omega males, women be damned they will tell you that they are happy and the desire to go Alpha or Beta is not within their scope of want.
Now granted we are human beings and we are as complex in our make-up as complex goes, many of you will flat out claim that you do not fit within any of the three categories. It is possible to be an Alpha male who enjoys the normalcy of a Beta male’s lifestyle, but deep down inside you know which one you are. I hope this offers a bit of clarity into the labels as we go about our quest for knowledge and understanding the language of today.
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Filed under People are Strange, The Code of Man
Tagged with ego, lifestyle, mentality, playboy, pressure, single, wolves
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on June 26, 2010 - 3:15 pm
Wow! Somebody finally made it okay to be the average guy (beta). You would never know it by the music videos or the women you talk to .
on August 9, 2010 - 10:54 am
Well I don’t know what I am then. I’ve always done well with the girls. Always had women wanting to be in a relationship with me, when single I’ve always had many friends with benefits, one nighters, casual bed buddies. I’m on my third marriage……..it’s non monogamous……and a run a big sex party a couple of times a month……at 48 years old I have access to any type of sex I want……threesomes……foursomes….gangbangs……you name it. Yet I have many Omega characteristics……I like my own company…….I have never really been into team sports…..I like to do things and achieve things on my own……couldn’t care less for being the leader or standing out…….but I’ve always been a hard worker……and I am financially successful…….I’m a loner……..who seems to always have sex crazed women hanging off me…….I don’t even try……they are just there…….all my life. I’m not overy good looking…..aren’t hung like a horse……pretty ordinary actually.
I’ve never been one to suck up and crawl to women…..I frequently argue with them actually…..I never defer to them……can’t remember the last time a brought flowers for one……..I also make no demands on them……don’t care who else they have sex with…….if they treat me bad……I just warn them……ignore them for a while if they keep it up……and dump them soon after if it doesn’t change……..plenty fish in the sea I’ve always thought…..and there is……..for me anyway. I’ve never known what it’s like to go without sex…….or even to go without any kind of sex I want. One thing I don’t do is lie to them……..or play pretendies of any kind. Never have.
I used to just take my success with women for granted when I was young and never gave it any thought. But since about 30yo I’ve given it a lot of thought and I’ve realised that without thinking about it……..like it just comes natural…….I give off all sorts of alpha signals although I don’t regard myself as an alpha male…….the reason I never try hard to seduce women is because…….I really don’t care if they like me or not……..I mean I just don’t give a rats………for real…….I know I’ve got sex on tap…….damn hot kinky mind bending sex too…….so why give a shit if the bird I talk to in the club likes me……why try…….no big deal…..I’m getting laid if she does or doesn’t……so makes no diff. I think that is half the battle for most guys…….I see them trying, trying, trying…….and if I can see it……the girls can to……and it looks so……..desparate. And if your desparate……..why…….thats what women think.
Now, the other thing is this. From a very young age…….I was having sex with very non vanilla women. Real raunchy horny sluts. So……vanilly women I find totally boring……..a woman can’t impress me by showing me some skin……flirting….I wouldn’t even walk across the street for a standard service with a vanilla chic…….you know….missionary……some oral…..basic shit. The effect is that I don’t chase……it’s not that I’m pretending to be not interested…….or using game to make like “I’m the prize” as they say………I really don’t have much interest…….until I know that she is a real hardcore girl……..it’s just not that arrousing…….regardless of what she looks like. I know…….it’s pathetic……..but it does have the result of me automatically behaving like…….I’m not desparate……..I could care less for your tits or arse…….or any other skin you have on display……you gonna have to offer me more to get me arroused. And one thing I know……..women love to play games with men…….get them arroused……it’s why the dress up slutty…….its why they wear the makeup……it’s why they flirt…………politically incorrect…….but true.
The easier a guy is arroused…….the more desparate he is. And the reason for being desparate is always the same……you don’t get much………why……..cause your shit……that’s why……..in womens mind this is the only reason there is.
The other thing is……..once you get into a womans pants……don’t carry on like a grateful desparado. Just do you best to get her off……have your sex……push the envelope as far as you can in regards to kink……..enjoy and forget it…….after…….don’t put her on a peddestal……..just return to treating her like any other friend…….like the sex was nice……but no big deal. DO NOT GODDESS WORSHIP. This is a must…….the more attractice and sexy a women is…….the more you must not notice her attractivness. Dirty talk to her in bed……..tell her how hard she makes you…….how you love her arse…..her tits…….etc……but outside of bed…….nothing……..just the normal friendly self…….this will train her to put out the sex……and it will be she that is pushing the envelope of kink and perversion……in order to get your approval……and your compliments……..if you give them to her all the time…..why will she bother……..she’ll have what she wants…..your servitude and worship…….make her keep raising the bar.
I know it sounds like total bullshit…..and the opposite of what a guy should do……..but believe me……the biggest losers with women I know are the ones the put women on pedestals and worship them and buy them flowers and gifts and adore them and take shit from them……..and get bugger all sex.
on August 9, 2010 - 1:47 pm
it was a hell of a read, but an awesome one. Thanks Stu.
on September 14, 2010 - 2:42 pm
Recognition of the concept of social hierarchy is irrelevant to the pursuit of one’s goals particularly if you know how to treat people properly. But certainly a lot of males are seduced by the fear-based pop-psychology that perpetuates this over-simplified “male dominance” meme.