Jul 08
Many of us have had bad breakups due to being the ass in the relationship. We were either too immature, too blind, too selfish or too whiny to keep this good person around so we find ourselves, alone, upset and reminiscing on how we lost a potential life-partner. When you find yourself in this situation you more than likely will feel the need to pick up the phone, send a card or email admitting your faults and asking for forgiveness from this individual. In the back of your mind you play out the visuals of reuniting with him/her treating her the way you should have and never taking advantage of him/her again.
When you get to this level of low, you should take your exes place mentally and think to yourself “would I want to hear anything from this person again?” More times than none, you will not want to hear from someone who was a total bastard in a relationship so spare yourself the embarrassment and let it go. Do you realize that there is nothing sweeter in the aspect of revenge, than having someone who screwed you over realize the mistake that he/she has made? Do you realize that for every phone call that he/she lets go to voicemail and for every email that you send off begging for forgiveness, there may be quite a few people listening and reading them as your ex recants how pathetic and stupid you are? This is when you let pride take over and move you past the urge to pick up a phone or make contact with the person you’ve slighted. Move on, allow them to find someone else and you do the same, you messed up, you regret it but this is how we learn.
How Would I Apologize to my Ex?
I have an ex that I would love to apologize to, hell I was young, full of myself and brazenly proud of it. When she and I were together I’d straight up leave her apartment if she wasn’t giving anything up and when she would talk on the phone I would put the receiver down and go programming. I know some of you will prop me for being a “bad guy” on some ol’ Money Over Bitches rep but the fact of the matter is I was an asshole. When we separated it was I who dumped her because she “talked too much” and it is I who now realized I probably messed her ego up for some future guy of hers.
Were I to ever run into her again I would say “hi”, ask her about her life and that would be it. This is if I ever run into her again, if we never have that occasion then so be it, water under the bridge. I would never troll a woman to apologize especially if she doesn’t want to hear it or see me again. My motto on this thing? Reach out once, say your piece and move on with your life. That is all you can do within the confines of your manhood and pride.
Do not stalk, it is a bad look for which you will never recover within the mind of that individual and his/her friends. You cannot, may not and will not get him/her back so save the lesson for his/her successor. Grow from your relationships do not let them poison you into losing your manhood.
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Filed under Relationships, Womanology
Tagged with bitch, ego, email, embarrassment, friends, mistake, phone call
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on July 11, 2010 - 9:37 am
One thing I’ve always said… Every man has his “Dog” stage.. Or.. “Asshole” stage. Where’s he’s the big effin’ hairy asshole and nothing but -for weeks. Months. Ad infinitum! Dads. Brothers. Uncles. Pastors. Husbands. Lovers. Have all been there, done that! Are doing it right now.. OR will be in the near future!!! Not makes it through life without exposing his “Asshole!” The sisters have to keep their listening ears on! And take those rose colored glasses off! And don’t pregnant by him whilst he’s being an Asshole! Or else she’ll get viciously trampled on.. AND HE WON’T CARE.. Until later. If at all. Guilt and remorse. How does it feel? You seem to be one of the good guys who write and deal and heal. Others.. they hold it in. Blame others.. And or just don’t care. But actually, your acknowledement probably heals a lot of things for a lot of sisters who might read this. I wouldn’t care if an asshole ex called to apologize. He’s a person that I once cared for.. and I feel he’s worthy of reconciliation. It’s the baby’s daddy would have to jump through hoops, do back flips and leap a tall building in a single bound — get baptized and go to confession to get back in my good graces for acting a fool with me whilst I was pregnant! -Then we could mend things and be friends! -’Cause if his daddy was an asshole his entire life, his mother certainly wasn’t.. and he knew better than that s!@#t!! -Whew! Good vent! Thanks for writing this!