Editor’s Note: I am always looking for awesome writers to make me laugh out loud or nod in agreement throughout their blogs. I tend to run into a lot of garbage in my trolling of the web but once in awhile I stumble upon gold. UndressingHER.com is a blog about Lust, Love and Life, the big three. The posts are candid, funny and very realistic in terms of The Undresser and his quest for strange in the city of Michigan. One particular post that really stuck out to me was on women and their immature Cell Phone habits:

I don’t call men, so I don’t care about what they do on their phones. This is strictly to the ladies, about the ladies, and for the ladies. Preferably those 21 and up; heck, let’s say 25 and up. There are some things that adult women do with their cell phones that makes me question their maturity and professionalism. These are the same women that often tell me to “grow up,” all the while they are acting like 14 yr-old girls with their newest smart phone gadgets. If you’re guilty of one of these things, you’re just a normal person…but if all five apply to you, stop trying to live like you were born in the 90′s. Let us begin…

5. Signatures
.:*&$% THE BADDEST BISSSHH %$&*:. Stop it, PLEASE. You’re not Trina. When you’re someone’s mother, it’s time to stop calling yourself a “bad b***h.” When I see stuff like this in a woman’s signature (notice I said woman, not girl), I begin to question how her mind functions. It has to be atleast 45% easier to have sex with women with signatures like that…ok, maybe not.

4. Penis Pictures
If you have pictures of various men’s baby making devices in your phone and you let me look through your pictures, YOU AIN’T s**t. Furthermore, it makes you look like a h*e. It’s not the fact that men sent the pics, it’s the fact that you have saved them and made them the caller ID picture. Definitely a h*e move. *If you just have one dude (husband, man, etc..) then there’s nothing wrong with that.

3. Call Tones
No. No. No. I don’t want hear Gucci Mane when I call you. I like that good ol’ fashioned **RING**. You are not a business that is putting me on hold, so stop with all the complications. I can’t believe grown women spend $3 just to have some music playing when someone calls. However, I must contradict myself and say I love that when I call my “Chicago Fantasy” and Alicia Keys’ “I’m Ready” plays just for me. Ok wait, let me take that back. Call Tones are ok, when they are for specific contacts. My problem is with women who have call tones for anyone who calls their phone (general), meaning that if your district manager calls your phone, they have to hear the latest verse by Rick Ross.

2. “Who Is This?”
Have you ever called a woman and she answered the phone with “Who Is This?” If so, RED LIGHT. Call your mother, grandmother, supervisor, manager, or any grown woman that you respect with a phone number you know they don’t have, and I guarantee you, they don’t say “Who Is This?” They’ll say hello first, or whatever greeting they say, followed by “may I ask who this is?” or something of that nature. There isn’t a single person who is getting grown up money who would answer their phone that way. I couldn’t imagine having a HR manager call me back and I answer the phone that way, can you say…continued unemployment.

1. Voice Mail Tricks.
This doesn’t mean you’re young, it just means you have annoyed me. I called a 22 yr old about 4 days ago and after a few rings, it went to voice mail. “What do you want?”, followed by a pause long enough for me to give an answer. I’m talking back to the voice mail like it’s a real person on the phone. After the voice mail continued to h*e me for 10 seconds, she finally came on laughing…”I’m just playing, leave a message.” I started laughing, but then I thought, this girl only has one phone line and you never know what type of life changing phone call you can receive. Bad Move.

Lastly, and this is just a bonus, don’t call my phone if you’re having ongoing conversations with the people in your background. It’s tacky…and STUPID. Just wait to call me until you’re free, preferably in a quiet area, away from your ghetto a*s cousins and friends. That is all.

What is something you hate that people do on or with their phones?

Written by Guest Writer on Tuesday, August 17, 2010 

Filed under Womanology
Tagged with business, cell phone, conversations, girls, maturity, mistake, penis, phone call, phone number