In this article I will be making reference to nerds, in fact the word count on nerd will be astronomical after I have finished saying what it is I have to say. That being said I wanted to preface this with a distinction, I am not referring to fake nerds (Olivia Munn), wannabe nerds (since nerds are all popular now), or geeks (sports stat guy and computer fix-it guy). I am referring to introverts, people who look down when they walk, wear high-water pants and hate/fear people. The guys who stare blankly at you because they haven’t had enough people experience to know that doing so is considered rude. The guys who are so full of themselves on a topic that they see everyone else as complete idiots. THAT is the nerd of which I will be referencing today.

Examples of this Nerd of which I will be referencing is: Rodney from StarGate Atlantis, Kaylee from Firefly and Dwight from The Office. With the advent of popular “cons” all around the country, nerds have begun to seek each other out in order to worship their niche loves together sans ridicule from everyone else. This is short-lived however since advertisers have figured out that these things bring about tons of people *cough* customers so the once private gatherings have become the whored out advertising gathering that is Comic-Con. In the past a nerd could go, run into an equally awkward babe and stumble into some nerd sex one way or another. Now, not so much, but I intend to give you nerd, the answer to your aching loins.

Luring A Nerd Girl to Notice and Talk to You

Listen up nerd, one of the reasons you are being called a nerd is because of that huge brain that you assume you have. The same goes for the authentic nerd girl dressed like Tali at the con that you are visiting. Nerd expert Batman333 advises that nerd girls are best approached through topics that both you and she are passionate about. You can break the ice by telling her how closely she resembles the character that she’s cosplaying, this gets you props for complimenting her hard work (because it’s probably handmade) and complimenting her looks, cause we all know that Tali is all sorts of sexy.

Batman333: Balance out your conversation with her on what you’re interested in and what she’s interested in. Some girls are into chivalry but nowadays women are so independent that you can’t be clingy. Nerds make that mistake of cowering over the first girl that gives them any kind of attention and it eventually scares them away.

When you talk to a woman the first few exchanges should be inquiries that allow her to express her interests and the level at which she is committed. Once you find similarities in passions you will find that she is much easier to talk to. I would go up to the sexiness dressed as Morrigan and start up conversation about Morrigan, it’s super easy:

Example of The Dragon scamming on a Cosplay Hawte

Greg Dragon: Hey good job on that kickass costume
Nerd Girl: Thank you, which character are you?
Greg Dragon: (Explains character and origin)
Nerd Girl: Wow cool, love the detail, do you come to — con every year?
Greg Dragon: Actually this is my first year but I’ve been itching to try my hand at cosplay and this is the first one I could get to with my schedule. Are you a Dragon Age player? Dumb question, I know but the girls I know aren’t big fans of Morrigan.
Nerd Girl: Are you kidding me? Morrigan kicks ass, blah , blah, blah

Consider the ice broken and if I don’t stay on Morrigan for an irritatingly long time, I can get her to keep talking eventually exchanging the Facebook, number and email. Hell she may even tell me her server and character name on World of Warcraft… I’m just saying.

Tone The Arrogance Down A Bit

Super nerds, you know who you are – the world sees you as funny and weird but to the girl you are talking to you may be a bit too arrogant. Arrogance is as far away from sexy as the heavens are from the core of the earth. We get it, you have an enormous ego and an overblown perception of yourself worth. Can you mute your ongoing blabber for a bit and play the quiet thinker? You out of all nerds may be the hardest to help because even as you are reading this you are convincing yourself that you have it figured out already.

Women are women, nerdy or not and you have two things going for you; you’re intelligent and you have male privilege. When you have those two things and you rush into a conversation with a woman cynically pretending to give a shit about her life while finding ways to proclaim your greatness then you will chase her away faster than a speeding bullet. Slow down, say hi, let her talk to you and for once in your life listen. If you can hide the arrogance and angst at the idiotic human race, you may just hold her long enough to actually like you.

So in the words of the great Nathan Explosion: Go forth and conquer! Nerdlings and snatch up one of those sexy cosplay traps chicks I see on Kotaku all the time. Just remember courting is like a videogame, it is a social experience, and you gain levels by trial and error. Whatever you do, do not give up, or it will be game over and an endless life of fapping to Sailor Moon reruns.

Written by Greg Dragon on Monday, August 30, 2010 

Filed under The Dating Game, The Nerdiest Topics
Tagged with chivalry, fear, geek, girls, nerd, sex, wannabe