Got your attention didn’t I? Well they are normal girls… as in, outside of the club they eat food, have kids, boyfriends etc. and probably a mortgage. What I mean by the title is Strip Club workers aren’t Club chicks, you shouldn’t have the same expectations…

This article stems from an adult life of visiting more than a fair share of strip clubs and taking along the clueless friend. The clueless friend will have delusions of grandeur when the girls come over and proposition him for a dance. This leads to misunderstanding, embarassment and the wont to snatch him by the ear and hip him to what its really all about.

Have you had this experience? The buddy who vanishes for hours with a stripper… then comes out asking if you have an extra $100 (oh it gets better). Worse yet, have the stripper rush out to get a bouncer while you try to pay her the difference to avoid your friend getting his ass beat. The same guy who slides the stripper his number because he actually thinks she is feeling him and would want to hollar outside of the Club… just because she asked him for a lap dance. It can be a mess and I have to be sympathetic because not everyone is a degenerate like me, some of these clueless friends are divorcees or ex holy-rollers who were forbidden from the club up until now.

So here’s the deal newbs, the Strip Club is first of all a place of entertainment. Some of them are glorified brothels if that’s your thing (never was mine, the Dragon doesn’t trick). So when you roll up in there, you should be looking to:

A. Look at some sexy nekkid women
B. Get dry-humped by said nekkid women
C. Tip the nekkid women on stage while you converse with friends
D. Trick yourself out to the prostitutes

Anything outside of this may result in an embarassment to yourself, your bank account and your ego, or worse yet – cause your friends to mark you off the future invite list. If you are there for a bachelor party or birthday, your duty is to make sure the man of the hour is taken care of first. That includes chasing the strippers off to pleasure him not you… and they will swarm you, be strong my young padawan.

It saddens me that this isn’t common sense, but after seeing a friend complain that a stripper didn’t call him back after he left her his number, I quickly realized that it isn’t. Ask for prices up front, keep track of your time and control the situation. Doing these things will make the strip club a dream for any young man and not a nightmare.

Written by Greg Dragon on Monday, March 30, 2009 

Filed under Clubs and Partying, Womanology
Tagged with lap dance, strippers