You have friends who brag about it, you may have even stumbled into one yourself (but felt you were just the luckiest guy in the world) and you read those fantasy articles in magazines where people lie about having it. But how do you spot a chick willing to get down for the night and leave in the morning? Well according to the accounts of women who are into this, the writing will blatantly be on the walls. Keep in mind that the “signs” are not 100%, chances are you may run into an overly-friendly chick who is naturally that way and wrongly assume that she wants to play. Rest assured she will check you faster than a Pit Boss at a successful run at BlackJack so you may as well go trial and error until you can whore yourself out as planned (yes men can be whores too).

As you enter the club/bar you may notice the cutie with a drink giving you a slight smile and a long stare. This may prompt the inexperiencd guy to slip into doofus mode (duh she likes me yuk yuk!) or the legendary d-bag guy to rush over and deliver a high level of corniness… whichever one you are, please calm it down and play it cool. After initiaing conversation you may notice that she is a bit too much into your convo. Laughing at not-so-funny jokes, throwing out hard compliments, making it obvious to even the thickest skull that she is into you. See women don’t have much trust in us (and for good reason), the subtle signals they send out can only be read by the most experienced guys, or their homosexual buddy. Basically the guys who know women best, the rest of us schmoes are left wondering wtf just happened? So anyway, she’s giggling, touching you, becoming extremely friendly fast. Seriously if your tongue isn’t down her throat after an hour or so you probably need to check yourself for a pulse.

Test the waters
While the flirting is going on you should test the waters a bit without going to full caveman pursuit. Stare into her eyes during conversation, touch her hands, brush the hair back etc. See if she is cool with you invading her space a bit. Give her a genuine smile and work your magic slowly, women can read your suggestions (its part of their evil intuition) and she will either counter back with some of her own (foot against yours etc.) or she will retract, letting you know that you are barking up the wrong tree. Make sure the chick isn’t drunk or near it, if she is, make a b-line to the next target and don’t be an asshole rapist. You want her coherent.

The best indicator that you are on the right path is in the conversation. This may take some work for guys who aren’t used to talking to women, if you are guilty of this, you may want to go out a bit more and get your rejection bumps in (this is a whole other article). While conversing, if she hasn’t done so already, steer the conversation away from what concert she last attended to more physical, sexy topics. If she’s a one-nighter, she will take the ball and run with it, hell she will start in on asking you about your sexual desires and bragging a bit about what she can do. By this time you have been hanging out with her for a bit, its getting late and she is wondering why you haven’t tried to ask her back to your place. This is the most critical point beyond all the postering to feel her out.

If you are dense like most of us are, you probably will try to get her number and hook up another time. If you are a booty hunter however, you may not want to let this beautiful bird out of your sight so fast. Plus if she is the type of girl that is the point of this article then you need to pull the trigger because you will get a fake number.

Seal the Deal
Chicks who want to go home with you will put out signals that you must be prepared to recieve. At the end of the night she will say things like “so you say you have an actual mini-bar at your house?” or “I can’t believe you have a chihuahua, I bet it’s cute” where the hint is TAKE ME HOME! OR she will say “I have a Playstation 3, I know you don’t believe me but I do” or “Ya guys can’t believe that I have that on DvD” which is language for COME HOME WITH ME. In any event once she throws it out there you are going to need to pounce on it quickly with a “well you can meet the chihuahua and continue our conversation at the minibar” or “I’d love to see for myself if you have a Playstation 3 or not, I bet you have the girliest games”. Which, if you played your cards right, and weren’t overly potent in the corniness factor, will land you some play that night.

Just don’t be a fool and actually turn on her Playstation 3 and nerd her to sleep. Go home for her, handle your business and you both will have gained what you were looking for. The Legendary One Night Stand.

Written by Greg Dragon on Tuesday, April 21, 2009 

Filed under Clubs and Partying, The Dating Game
Tagged with rejection, signals, trial and error