Mar 15

upset black couple

Most people never set out to find and fall into a relationship for the wrong reasons, but it’s an unfortunately common process. Here are five of the wrong reasons to get involved in a relationship:

#1: You Can’t Stand the Thought of Being Alone

A lot of people prefer being miserable in a relationship than being single because “at least they are not alone”.  When you fear being alone, you’re much more likely to make bad choices and end up getting involved with and staying in bad relationships because it distracts you from feeling lonely.

#2: You’re Getting Old and the Clock is Running Out

A relationship should not be based on two people getting together because time is running out.

Many women feel that 40 is the age where you should no longer have children because there is a higher risk of birth defects.  Men know this as well, and when they meet a woman in her late 30’s they feel like it’s an all or nothing proposition in some cases if they want to have children

The truth is that plenty of people have children after they are 40 years old, and there are many other factors that can lead to birth defects even before a woman turns 40. 

#3: Giving In To Social Pressure

All of us have been here, we see family and friends in happy relationships, and it’s even more awkward when you show up to events as the only one without a date.

So, you decide to cave-in and go out and get with the first person you have the chance to, but this is a bad decision and will create problems. The person in your life may feel like you’re more interested in the idea of a good relationship than you are in him or her, and this can lead to the feeling of desperation on your part which could push the other person away.

#4: Filling The Void

If you believe that a loving relationship will ease the emptiness inside you, the harsh reality is that no relationship is ever going to be able to “fill you up.” It’s almost certain that the person in your life will start to feel this and be turned off and not want to deal with your personal baggage. 

Spend some time working on yourself and building up your self-esteem before pulling another person in and hoping they can make you feel good about yourself.

#5: Because the Sex was Good

Times have changed and people are having more sex than ever, and in many situations this happens before the two are ever in a relationship.  When the sex ends up being good it can often lead to people believing that they should be in a relationship with that person because a lot of emphasis is placed on the sexual experience.

Once in the relationship it quickly becomes evident that sex is what’s holding things together, and the other person may start to feel like that’s the only reason you in a relationship with them.

What’s the Solution?

You need to stop letting yourself feel out of control; only you own and control your life. Once you take the control back, you can start taking steps to bring about the change you want.  You should also remember that there are many potential people out there that are a good fit for you; take your time and find the right fit rather than trying to force something to work.

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