Dec 14

Your date may have gone well but she isn't calling you backThere are times when we men will take a woman out, swear we did well then wonder why the chick won’t return calls or texts. It’s time like this when you should apply the 3-strike rule and move on if she turns out to be a flake. The worst thing that you can do is to continuously chase a woman who has no interest in you. The second worst thing that you can do is to be on call for a woman who flakes out on you, then keeps you in her rolodex in case her current distraction does not work out. As always I stress self-respect over everything else. No matter how magical you think a woman’s nether regions are, your self-respect is not worth sacrificing for it.

So you took her out and after 2-3 attempts she is either too busy or not answering at all. Here’s a list of things that may have caused it. Some of it can’t be helped but maybe there’s something in here that you can adjust in your next attempt.

Failure #1 – She’s an Idiot
Sounds harsh but there are some women who will date you out of pressure from friends and family. They do this to fulfill their obligation, going into it expecting not to continue communication. Flakes like this cannot be avoided, you can pick up on certain things such as her texting at the table, looking dejected and ordering something light and quick (so the meal can be over fast). If you are intent on paying for the meal when the date is an obvious dud, pretend something comes up and get the hell out of there after the waiter takes your drink order.

The other reasoning may be that you are dating a picky, superficial, egotist. This type of woman will write you off because your shoes aren’t all that, she hates your car, or when she found out your profession, it doesn’t scream dollar signs to her. Trust me if this loser is writing you off because of these things, she has done you a HUGE favor by not wasting your time for later on. Throw her to the trust-fund baby, D-Bags who will use her up quicker than a box of Kleenex.

Failure #2 – You are annoying but you don’t know
This is where having a close female friend can be a gold mine. If you suspect that you have a habit or a tick that is killing your chances to score, you will need female help, and you will need it fast. The female friend must be brutally honest so I do not recommend family members who care for your feelings. It may be your laugh, the fact that you feel liberal in picking your nose or adjusting yourself. The way you suck your teeth when drinking or the animalistic way you scarf down food in front of her. You may be a bastard to your waiter and not realize it. Check yourself and stop being a nasty bastard on your dates, you will need an outside opinion to tell you this.

Failure #3 – You brought up your ex in the worst way
I’m sure your date understands that your ex was an evil bitch that did you wrong, but why do you assume that your date wants to hear it? Hell half of us guys that are your friends don’t want to hear it. So you go out with a new woman that finds you cute then choose to go on about the past? This is one of the fastest ways to kill your chance of moving on and if you are guilty of this I will advise you to stop doing it. A good rule of thumb is to keep your past women and transgressions locked away deep into a vault unless asked about them. Then if you are asked it should be on a “need to know” basis, speak about them evenly and generically, keep it short and sweet. Women say they love honesty but when it comes to this subject, its best to keep ex-girlfriend honesty for your therapist. Just stop it fellas, do not talk about your ex.

Failure #4 – Too much conversation, not enough STFU.
Were you nervous, or were you just that much of a blowhard? You know what I mean, the kind of guy that gets a nervous tick and talks non-stop while bored girl sits and bears it for the 2 hrs. Women are vain creatures, better you be the listener than the motor-mouth. Trade off some good stories periodically but for the most part she should be able to get a word in once in awhile, or better yet most of the time. If you look back on the date and feel good because your “talk game” was so on, that may be the reason why she isn’t calling you back. You talk too damn much and you’re not that interesting.

Failure #5 – No chemistry, no push
There has to be a little push if you want to get anywhere in life. If you aren’t complimenting her, lightly touching her (when you can get away with it) and making her laugh, she may read you as if you’re not that interested. I’m not saying that you should patronize the hell out of your date and then lean in for a deep kiss at the end of the night but you do have to act interested beyond swapping empty conversation. The other thing can be the fact that your two worlds do not mix well together. She may like ball players and you’re a simple IT nerd with a healthy salary. While your money may meet her expectations, your less than spectacular job will lead to her possibly judging you in the future for not being able to brag you up to her friends. On the other note, you may not be into gold-diggers.

So there you have it, as you can see many things can be out of your control on these things so why feel bad about it? I have so many friends who take it personally when a girl flakes out on them that I cannot understand why? These guys are a good catch for most women but they choose to date the type of women that I wouldn’t even open a door for. If you do think you have an issue that is causing your failure, work on it and try again (with a different woman), never take it personally and remember to keep your self-respect.

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  • nevergivenachance

    I am 38, unmarried and rarely given a chance by women. I no longer know what to believe any more. I went out on a date with a girl I liked. Everything seemed to go well and I thought that she appreciated the time we spent. But after that date I never heard from her again and she won’t return my texts or calls. I texts her twice and called once. Anyhow, that is how it goes. It hurts a lot and I do not feel so good about myself after what happened. I would have appreciated it if she were just honest and let me know that she didn’t appreciate the date. At least that would have been respectful of me and my time. But women have always treated me like dirt. There comes a point when a man just has to accept that that is how things are. And not expect anything different. I wish I could be accepted or appreciated for who I am but that would be asking too much. As I inch closer to 40 I am beginning to let go of the dream of family and relationships. As my dad use to say, some men win and some men lose. Not everyone is loved. Sometimes you just have to accept that some things can not be changed.