Nov 26

man and woman talking

One of the chief complaints women have with the dating game is that there are quite a few guys who they assume “fear commitment”. In the past when I heard this accusation I would translate it to “he won’t make me exclusive in the time I have decided is reasonable”.

Many times the guy doesn’t fear commitment, he just doesn’t want to commit to YOU—but you know this already. Most men will commit once they find a woman who they want to be with – or can’t be without but there are some who like to fly free and the following list is an attempt to explain why they feel better alone.

A List of 5 Reasons That Some Men Fear Commitment

1. Warning from Married Friends

When you have more than a few buddies who took their vows early telling you to enjoy life and stay away from the altar as long as you can, it tends to make you think something’s up. Not to mention the way your friends who are grown men revert to child mode whenever the wife starts to grill them about where they’ve been or what they’re doing. It doesn’t sound ideal does it?

Married men also have a running joke that the whole “sex whenever you want it” thing is a myth and that they have had way less sex after marriage than they did when they were out dating and relating. This cooks up a mental brew of hell for the single guy hearing it and he doesn’t feel like there is much bonus to committing to a marriage.

2. Routines… ugh, how fun is life if it feels like running endless laps on a track.

3. The opportunity to have sex with Keri Hilson may present itself and he won’t be available.

4. Losing one’s identity to become a Brangelina or a Kimye hybrid of vomit inducing coupledom.

5. That whole settling down thing

Women tend to look at pairing up with a mate as the start of a grand adventure in life – you fall in love, you get married, have kids, and do stuff with one another forever. Some men see this as an anchor which will forever lock them down to the point of immobility.

What single men who hate commitment may see in their coupled up mates is a guy who can’t travel to Vegas because his girl is in a bad mood; a husband who can’t go on the mud run because the wife is working and they have no baby sitter; the best buddy who can’t move out of the small town because the wife has always lived there and fears change.

If a guy sees himself as wanting to travel, experience different things, or chase a pot of gold then settling down seems like a daunting concept indeed.

I have always said that marriage isn’t for everyone – it’s that whole “choice” thing; and when you are out dating you do run the risk of liking someone who doesn’t subscribe to life’s grand plans or your childhood dreams of having kids and husband before you’re 29.

I hope this brings some clarity into the reasons why some men aren’t rushing to be your Brad Pitt while others are ready to propose after the 2nd date.

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