Well, you had a good run…
You and your girlfriend hit it off at first, but now things have fizzled and you realize she’s just not right for you. Although there’s no way to guarantee that she won’t be upset, letting her down gently is the best way to go. Here are 5 ways to tell a girl you want to break up with her without incurring her wrath.
1. Ditch the “we need to talk” line
For the love of all things, do NOT send the hopelessly vague yet alarmingly familiar “we need to talk” text. If you have to text her and can’t call, text something like “are you free tonight?” or “can I stop by?” if you plan on talking to her about this in person (which I would recommend over a passive break up email any day). Keep your request to see her neutral so you can get to your point without leading her on.
2. Keep things civil
You don’t need to knowingly screw up to distance yourself from the relationship. Just because you want to break up doesn’t justify a one night stand in a two-star motel or shameless flirting with a woman who looks surprisingly more attractive after a few drinks. Ending on good terms is better than trying to flee the wrath of a vengeful, merciless ex who will leave countless voicemails and text you at all hours just to see you suffer.
3. Meet her at her place or somewhere you two can be alone
don’t want to humiliate her in front of all the diners at Applebee’s and then awkwardly wait for the check, and you don’t want to invite her to your house where she has to enjoy the walk of shame back to her car. Hell, if you have this discussion at your place, she might extend her stay in an attempt to persuade you to change your mind..Or she might attack you. Whatever the situation, make sure you can leave when the conversation is over.
4. Abandon the cliché comebacks
Don’t tell her “you deserve better”—that just means you’re more willing to hurt her than better yourself to live up to her standards. It won’t make her feel any less upset. And, honestly, the whole “let’s just be friends” line should be skipped. Is that friendship really going to go anywhere? You have plenty of neglected Facebook friends to “just be friends” with, and adding an ex to the mix is a waste of time.
5. Don’t sugar-coat your actions
Be honest and direct. Don’t set the mood for the conversation by taking her somewhere and expecting her to understand when say it’s over. When you speak leave out your excuses and tell her the truth: “I don’t think we should go out anymore, you’re great but unfortunately I don’t think we have much in common” is worlds better than “uh, so..I don’t see things working out because I don’t think your cat likes me..you’re really nice, it’s just that your cat looks at me funny.”
It’s easy to tell your friends you want to break up with your girlfriend, but when the time comes to your nerves can get the best of you. Take my advice and keep it simple, and remember that it’s not the end of life as you know it.