Sep 22

Look as a man you are going to be tempted with beautiful “strange” at least once in your lifetime and it won’t matter if your wife is as beautiful and lusty as a Jada Pinkett-Smith or an Angelina Jolie-Pitt, you are going to think really hard on it. Come on man, you mean to tell me that you are so much greater than every other man that you could never in a million years be tempted to rendezvous with a seductress? Of course you will and for the weaker men who fold to the allure of strange ass you have a choice in HOW to deal with your guilt, your shame, and your WIFE! Why be an asshole about it? Become a cheater but for the sake of your nuptials and family become a “respectable cheater”, by keeping omerta and keeping your people unaware.

The following are 5 simple steps in this process to help you maintain your respectability:

1. Never Get Caught
If you are slimy enough to be cheating regularly with the same person then you should be sharp enough to keep your tracks untraceable. This starts with not underestimating your spouse and sticking to a rigid schedule that your jump-off has to accept. What honey don’t know won’t hurt her, so make sure things stay high and tight.

2. Leave The Children Out Of It
If your jump-off has children then they should not be referring to you as Uncle Larry or calling you by your name or even being aware of you at all. Sure this may be difficult to avoid, but the less a child knows of you, the better for them and your sanity. Imagine that poor kid running into you and your wife out and about and becoming confused at it all. Be courteous and keep the innocents blind to your foul philandering.

3. Keep Some Juice In The Reserves
So your jump-off is an aggressive, Lisa-Ann type with the appetite of a ferocious tigress. Do yourself a favor and power up on your porn-star longevity because you will be doing your wife a disservice by facilitating Lisa-Ann but using the “honey I’m tired” card whenever it’s time for your manly duties. Get your workouts up, increase your stroke count and keep those boys swimming on overtime. A good cheater can go home from his tryst and beat the brakes off of his wife without ever missing a beat.

4. Always Use Protection & Get A Vasectomy
This should be a no-brainer, the ultimate in disrespect is pulling a Schwarzenegger and seeding up the jump-off, or worse yet bringing home the crotch ninja to your poor unsuspecting wife. Don’t be a tool, sport a raincoat and stay in the clinic on some STD checks.

5. Treat Your Wife Like A Million Bucks
Typically cheaters are assholes to their spouses due to insecurity and fear of the karma getback. Guys who are ultra-jealous and abusive to their wife are normally nice and loving to the random side chick. Don’t be the typical dick who behaves this way; the great Pharaoh Ramses II had over 200 women but he still treated his beautiful queen Nefertari like a goddess. Sure you could never live up to the manliness of a Ramses II but you could at least try to follow in his footsteps.

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