My neighbors barely know me, I come and go without making friendly and I rarely hang out in the neighborhood outside of checking the mail and getting into my car. This has spawned a few weird questions when I do run into them, one in particular who just had to know what I did for a living. Now I don’t feign ignorance in knowing that people like to know their neighbors to be sure that they don’t have Al Capone or Tony Montana living next door but why is it always the same story with the people who engage in the nosiness. I won’t get into demographics but you know these people as well as I do, they are accurately depicted in movies and TV shows alike. One of my favorite depictions was on the X-Files when Molder and Scully moved into a new neighborhood together to pose as a newly-wed couple. You had the token helpful loser who is sneakily trying to look at what they have and you have the nosy couple who brings them a pie.

Being nice friendly neighbors is one thing, being a nosy asshole is another. I have a nice older lady who lives to the right of me who I share enough information with that if I fall down and die she would probably know something’s wrong. But the people I am writing about are the neighborhood watch type. The bored folks who join committees and power trip over your lawn being too high, or your trashcan being the wrong color, you know the type. Guess what Mr. loser neighborhood watch guy, everybody hates you and you aren’t helping anyone but your boredom and self-importance. You force good people to move away or wanting to put a bullet into you.

I wonder what it would be like if it was a neighborhood full of these guys. No normal people, just bored, nosy individuals who live vicariously through their jobs and television. Actually I don’t want to imagine it, it sounds so surreal and scary to me. Everybody hates you.

Written by Greg Dragon on Monday, July 20, 2009 

Filed under Everybody Hates You
Tagged with losers, nosy neighbor