Have you ever been walking along listening to you ipod and a song comes on that either moves you to want to break out in full Flashdance mode, or break down crying like the end of “Imitation of Life?”  And all you can think is that you want someone else to hear it and feel what you feel…but you cant.  Later, you try to describe the song  and how it made you feel to someone, but they look at you like you’re crazy, but offer you affirmative responses, like they get it, when you both know they don’t.  You both know that they can’t get it; it’s impossible.  Because it wasn’t just that song it was that moment.  It was yours, alone.

That’s what a argument between two people who love each other is like.  Everyone walking through life with uncomfortable, ill-fitting ear buds in, listening to our own soundtrack.  Taking them off only long enough to agree on dinner, or which school to send the kids to, or when to have sex, only to promptly put them back in place after making the life decisions.

When you argue with your mate and you try, in vain, to get them to see it the way you do and remember it the way you do and love or hate it the way you do, it’s a exercise in futility.  That song that made you cry, made them laugh and neither of you knows why. No one wants to put the mp3 player down and relinquish power to the other; we all want to be our own DJ.  But today, we skimp and pare down the art; instead of lugging crates of records and massive turntables, we bring a computer and ourselves.  We wont do the work, and why should we when the world has made it so easy not to.  Bringing the computer to your DJ set, is quite similar to bringing the divorce to your four month marriage.  Easy way out, because we take the easy way in.

It’s about balance and work, and that’s hard to do with buds firmly planted in your ears and an escape plan in your heart.  What people in love or people who want to be in love, have to remember is that feeling you had when  “your song” came on and you feverishly made your way to the dance floor.  You felt the bass beat in  your chest and the treble spill out of your fingertips onto those around you as you methodically moved, sharing that joy or sorrow that the song evoked inside of you.  Those around you ate it up whole and passed it on, and you were all part of something greater.  Now, this musical revival made your hair “go back”, or you sweat out your favorite shirt, or you lost your damn purse, but years later you remember it.  So, next time you’re moved by that song, try and remember that love and music are meant to be shared, that’s why they made docking stations.

Written by Niambi Dawn on Friday, August 14, 2009 

Filed under Married Life, Relationships
Tagged with divorce, ear buds, marriage

Niambi Dawn has written a total of 3 article(s) for us.