I know a lot of you single women out there are pretty tired of the cliché statements and reasoning behind you not having a man. We know them so well that we could write an entire concerto to the sound of repetitive one-liners, anecdotes and reasons but I aim to explain from a personal standpoint what has scared me away from certain women and how I broke it off.  In the first part of this series, I will break down the three age levels of women in dating (especially online) and make general assumptions based on experience. The second half will cover real experiences and the last part will wrap it all up with a nice blue bow.

To begin, let me put an annoying sentiment to rest where women with assets think that a man has to “earn” their attention. This line of thinking combined with the fact that the fairer sex outnumbers us will keep you alone due to the fact that a smart guy knows he has choices. For every sexy, intelligent woman who plays hard to get there are two other sexier, more intelligent women who are willing to cut through the bull. I recall my first foray into online dating I dated a very immature and judgemental  24 yr old (I was 30) and it reinforced my feelings on  the whole “young girls are stupid” thing. Throughout the years I’ve analyzed that:

The Dragon’s Single Female Maturity Chart:

18yrs – 28yrs (The Fantasy Girl aka Arm Candy)
Barbie fantasies of “happily ever after” or dreams of the supermodel lifestyle with the romantic thug boyfriend that only exists in the movies. Girls this age want to be married by 26, have 2 kids, live in a big house with a white picket fence and marry a gangster who can shower them with gifts while looking the part of a street hood. These girls want to be the young version of Carmella Soprano, how sexy is that? I have found this age group to be a nightmare for relationships and should stay in the “play but not stay” category of the dating bachelor. As wives they are better suited for men 45+ years old with fast cars and a hardcore mid-life crisis as he can provide them with the children, money and disdain for society that their rich thug fantasy precipitates.

29yrs – 36yrs (The Level Headed Matriarch)
There are three types who make up this category, first you have the failed dater who used to be a hardcore version of the fantasy girl. Now that she is older and a little wiser, she realizes that thugs are leeches, they don’t stick around and the guys with money while boring are still looking for women younger than her. This leads to a forced humility that is very dangerous, she wants the marriage and kids and she feels as if she is running out of time.

The second has had the marriage, kids and tough guy but he grew tired and moved on or worst yet, just didn’t stick around. Alternatively she may have sacrificed her life to not be a fantasy girl,  pursued a career or a long-lasting relationship for the the first decade of her availability. Now she finds herself single with baggage (or not) in her 30’s. For the hardcore bachelor, these women are a nightmare because they are in the pursuit of stability. If you want to play this is the category that can get psycho on you, burn your clothes, your car etc. because they feel as if you have misled them and forced them to waste more valuable time.

For men that are looking for a stable partner, with little to no games and a possible future, this pool of women is your safest bet. The older the safer due to time rearing it’s ugly head to keep her humble after years of disappointment. In online dating, I would lock my searches on 30 – 40 age groups for the specific reason of avoiding fantasy and dating reality.

37yrs – 45yrs (The Cougar)
Yes I know you hate the term ladies of this classification but for lack of creativity at the moment I am re-using it here. If a woman is in the dating circle at this point and you are a younger man, chances are she wants to play. If you are 29, handsome, making some decent scratch and you find yourself being pursued by a cougar, do you succumb or do you fight it? At 29 I would have been happy for the opportunity. When you’re young, doing well and not ready to be locked down you are a perfect match for this type because she probably doesn’t want to either. This is not to be confused with the women who receive some great love-making from an ace then lose their minds in la-la land and get attached. I am talking about initial intent. At 40+ you are normally established, kids are in college or in the rat race and you have a couple of stripes (marriages) under your belt. Why would you want to go shacking up with some young man after all of that? Well some do as in Demi Moore and Mariah Carey, but it isn’t the norm.

For guys that want a wife, contrary to my assertion that these women just want sex, the experience and age alone would make her a great partner. She would probably hold you down (slang for taking care of you) better than the younger ones would, that is if you have a preference for older women.

Written by Greg Dragon on Wednesday, August 12, 2009 

Filed under Relationships, Womanology
Tagged with cougars, fantasy girl, single women