Dec 12

confident-man-cooking

Are you lost, confused, and unsure where to go in this whole spectrum of dating, loving and fitting into a world of gender confusion? The following are my eight tips to set you straight if you want to be a man that marches to the beat of his own manly drum. This list isn’t for the panderer, or the man that wants to be everything women tell him they want him to be. This list is for the man who wants to be an attractive and confident man to any and every one.

1. Be comfortable with being an adult male

Sure your job doesn’t have a fancy title and your duties come off as mundane at best. This doesn’t mean that you will look any more impressive to change the title and lie about what it is that you do. If you want a serious woman you will not pretend to be a club-going, party animal either. Do you know why? Let’s just say that serious women will expect that you have grown past that and are either established or working towards it. Trying to be the cool kid on campus is the game of College Freshmen and kids looking for votes to become Prom King. Be a man, work on your craft, and no matter what you do, own it!

2. Keep an air of machismo

Despite the pleas to make yourself gender neutral as a man, there is still an expectation that is placed upon you by the world. If you want to have an air of winning, you need to be a lion with a mane. The world needs to see that you are a man, and there is no questioning it whatsoever. This means that you abide by the man laws and have character, ambition, strength, and reliability. As a man telling you all of this, I will tell you that a large segment of the internet wants you to think that machismo is bad, but if you want respect, you would do well to embrace and love it in all of its glory.

3. Become a gentleman with an edge

While you may open car doors, pay for dinners, and speak without cursing around a lady, you must keep your pistol at the ready (metaphorically speaking) for anyone that tries to take your politeness for weakness. The difference between a good man and a nice guy is that a good man isn’t playing good to get laid, he’s good because he’s good. You cannot be a total pushover in life as a man, it isn’t sexy and for women it’s a dangerous reality to be with you.

4. Accept that losses are a part of the game

Whiny men have become the norm in our modern age. With the internet and the lack of fatherhood in record numbers, men have resolved to whine when things don’t go their way instead of accepting and overcoming them. To be a winner you need to accept that failing, falling, and coming up short are all realities that can occur and unlike little league you won’t be rewarded for showing up. Learn to stiffen your upper lip and try again when you stumble, and respect the game for the losses as well as the wins.

5. Become Batman

Bruce Wayne is a flamboyant playboy to those who see him from a distance. They ignore him because he seems like a rich stiff who has the world on a string. In reality Bruce is a strong, silent, crime fighting, ninja badass. He sees no need to brag about his abilities, partly because if he did, his enemies will know how to get at him when the utility belt is packed up. Like Batman you have to be about mystery, silence, and allowing your success to speak for itself.

6. Think objectively

Men that are sensitive (as in ready to fight at the drop of a hat), or emotional, can be the easiest people to manipulate into action. Being manipulated means that someone else owns you, and even though you think that you have control, your rush to anger or action makes you a puppet. Rein in your reactions to consider the three sides that come with everything and make decisions logically. You cannot be fair if you are always jumping and you want to be your own puppet master.

7. Have goals and ambition

Even if you are a backpacking, Peace Corps riding hippie that hates Capitalism you should have goals and aspirations in life. They don’t even have to be well scripted or plotted out for 30+ years. You just need to have some sort of focus so that you can build yourself towards it.

An ambitious man has the air of a leader and leadership is a sexy trait in men and women. For an alpha woman it means that she can have you as a partner in running the world, and for a traditional woman it means that your guidance can take her to a place of pride. Men of ambition become legendary, while aimless souls become the subjects of angry blog posts.

8. Always give props when they are due

When you can complement a person for getting something done, looking good, or for their success, it is appreciated. No part of being a tough guy says that you aren’t allowed to tell a woman that her hair smells good, or that her heels are driving you ballistic. Similarly a man can tell another man that a suit looks good on him and be secure enough in his manhood (if he isn’t gay) to be okay with it. Don’t bite your tongue on compliments, it will make you seem fair if you dish out criticism at the drop of a hat.


Now go out there and be an amazingly beautiful rooster and drive those chicks crazy. Stop listening to all that nonsense being spoken and written by women (and men) that don’t like you and carve out your own powerful identity that demands respect.

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