Okay, before you disregard me as the average, ignorant about the system, individual who sees every Network Marketing opportunity as a “pyramid scheme” and a sucker’s pitfall, I will preface by saying I have known enough people who have profited from them to think differently. One thing about Network Marketing schemes is that a great salesperson who follows the guidelines to profit from them can make good money and generate passive income from them. The problem with Network Marketing systems however is the average Joe who wants to get rich quick and is gullible enough to give money to a system that he/she neither understands nor wants to is the main target.

Everyone (unless you are lucky) has fallen victim to the friend or family member who has found THE OPPORTUNITY OF A LIFETIME and has to sell it you. The problem most of the time is it’s something that you don’t need, won’t need and probably won’t use. Back in the day it was call plans on your telephone, it could be Tupperware (makes me think of Napoleon Dynamite) or the dreaded magical, youthful berry juice. Now a good salesman could tell you why you need it, how it can better you financially or health wise and convince you that it’s a product for you. Random family member or friend will tell you just enough to give you an idea of what it does (since they barely know themselves) and then badger you to purchase it. Before I get into the main person who this article targets, I will say this: If you want to get into Network Marketing, find a product that you truly believe in and push it on people who are either saps or those who can truly use it. And for the love of God, leave your family out of it, that just makes me a sad panda.

New Network Marketing Guy
The individual who really set me off into writing this article is the random, broke, hustler who couldn’t sell a plate of food to a starving man. This guy is so high on his own sh-t that he doesn’t do his homework, doesn’t know his product but wants to sell it to you because, well because, well because HE CAN MAKE LOTS AND LOTS OF MONAY!!!! (Key applause). Whenever I run into one of these schmucks it pisses me off because it muddies the waters for everyone else doing it. The NMG(Network Marketing Guy) is aggressive, the one positive in his pitch, but crumbles fast when you start asking too many questions. He lies (which I absolutely hate) and postures about living large from his golden egg that he is so generously offering you. But look closely at this well-to-do salesman and you will notice the defects in his armor. He is full of excrement.

An Example of TEH FAIL
Last Sunday while attending a going away party, I made my way to meet the hostess and noticed an individual who stuck out from the crowd hunched over a table of books. Upon close observation I noticed the Trump logo on the leaflets and books along with the cheap suit and worn boots of the salesman in question. Trying my best to steer clear as I made my way to the hostess, I was cut off mid-stride by the NMG. “Hey man let me get your name, number and email address” he announces to me before properly introducing himself or his product. Looking into his eyes I saw that he lacked confidence and tried to cover it up by being loud – another trait that I hate. “Why?” I asked pointedly, as I looked over the table of Donald Trump schemes and literature. “This is going to change your life man, you are going to be happy you met me tonight…” cutting him off after that line, I proceeded to tell him that I have had enough experience with Network Marketing and was not interested at the moment. He then proceeded to LIE that he was making $100,000 a month, yes folks the fool said month and that by December he would have made a million. Good for you Mr. cheap, wrinkled suit with the scruffy boots – try someone else with that line of bullsh..

Annoyed by the exchange, I walk off without  a word while he announces behind me “ya last month I got this guy signed and he’s already retiring man”. Okay dude, keep on keeping on with that crap. After moving on to actually enjoy the party, I observed as this man didn’t even posture to mingle and make friendly with the crowd but instead cornered every victim he could and eventually managed to only get one (I would assume was fake) email address from someone too nice to say no. If this man was making $100k a month from his lack of sales skill, I am obviously living in the wrong dimension. My fleeting thoughts were “here is another Trump chump to muddy the waters for everyone else”, why oh why?

The thing is this Mr. NMG, if you are going to sell snake oil to a party of friends and family, it may help for you to actually introduce yourself, dress friendly or professionally . Don’t lie about your salary to the point where your clothes and lack of knowledge in business makes your nose grow. And finally mingle a bit, I would have been more inclined to hear about the program had this guy talked casually about non-Network Marketing things with us, play a little Rock Band, sing some Karaoke or at least try to. Warm us up a bit and then introduce your product, dude YOUR HUSTLE IS ASS BACKWARDS.

New Network Marketing Guy, everybody hates you!

Written by Greg Dragon on Tuesday, September 29, 2009 

Filed under Everybody Hates You
Tagged with average joe, money, passive income