Years ago I was asked the age old question “what type of man do you want to marry?”, and I, at the time being on level one – the fantasy girl – in my single woman plight, would rattle off about 10 “must haves” on a list that only Superman can live up to.  The list was very specific about his personality, but the man having a hefty paycheck was never mentioned.  My friends were always critical of this issue and I often wondered what was better, the age old saying “it’s better to have loved and lost” or the fact that they were losing men constantly but walking away with parting gifts.

Recently I had a discussion with a close friend of mine about the fact it seems that people who tied the knot way back when are now going through, or already went through, a bout of regret that seemed to stem from their reasoning for getting married. I’ve surveyed those who married for love and those who married for money and the grass is always greener on either side.  It is as if those who married for love did it prior to becoming a grown up and are now feeling stagnant and unfulfilled because they realize their life passed them by without knowledge of who they are as an individual. Often times when they do find themselves, it’s a world away from who they were in their early 20’s, and they are faced the crossroad.  Do they branch out and continue to find themselves without love blinding them along the way or do they stay on the path they are on for the sake of love? Very few of them pick the latter.  However, either route can lead to heartbreak.

Heartbreak paranoia often leads to marrying for money.  Those who marry for money are good on luxury and material things but are usually not always happy or fulfilled. Studies have shown that love is one of the top basic human need triggers such as thirst, hunger, cravings, etc. We all know love is not something that can be bought, so unless the person is a droid, they more than likely are missing the security and comfort of the feeling.

There are always exceptions to the rules, as some people are lucky enough to find true love at a young age and enjoy growing old together.  Others may actually enjoy being in a business deal of sorts with their wealthy spouse.  Lately, I’ve noticed that my list of “must haves” dwindled down to something simple that encompasses both.  I just want him to make me smile. With that said, when the time comes, I will put forth the effort necessary to become rich together; both in our pockets as well as in our hearts.

Written by Nia Syrah on Tuesday, October 13, 2009 

Filed under Married Life, Money and Business
Tagged with fantasy girl, heartbreak, love