Sep 22

While the contents of this list can be applied to males also, the list represents things that seem to irritate us males when out on the dating scene. Although one of these things isn’t enough to chase a guy off, I can imagine that two or three of them could easily make a guy consider alternatives. Props to people with high tolerance levels but it all boils down to being considerate. In any event here it is, a list of annoying things women do on dates.

1. Pop Their Gum

This has got to be one of the most annoying things a grown woman can do in the movie theater. Come on are you 15? This habit is right up there with biting nails and eating boogers. It makes me want to go into parent mode and hold my hand out to ask for the gum.

2. Constant Texting

This rude behavior should be rewarded with the check being split. Yes you want to tell your buddy Selena that the guy you’re dating is cute, or update your Facebook but there is a time and place – it just comes off as rude. Yes even when you use the “excuse me I have to answer this” it comes off negatively. The mind tends to wander and if I begin to wonder whether you are texting a f-ck buddy to rendezvous after the date, chances are I will be tempted to cut communication short. Just say no to texting, an emergency phone call is an emergency phone call but on dates I put Blackberry to sleep, it’s just common courtesy.

3. Bring up Old Boyfriends

Just say no ladies, I know that nervousness combined with your belief that new guy doesn’t know old guy will inspire you to recant how much of an ass he was but we’d prefer you keep it to yourself. The sins of boyfriends past are best left to pillow talk once we are your committed boyfriend and about 6 months in. The mind is visual and when you talk about Will the narcissist using your mirror more than you, we imagine Will having sex with you. Even if Will was Ben Affleck calibre of douchebag we still won’t benefit from the info. You figure us for knights in shining armor who will hear your tale of misfortune and reaffirm your good feelings by saying “you don’t have to worry about that with me” or “what a dick, I would never do that! Shucks!” Only ducks do that with women they date, a real guy will just imagine jackass getting it on with you so keep it to yourself… For now.

4. Play Hint Hint with the Check

Look a man knows whether or not he is going to pick up a check from the moment you agree to go on a date with him. Trust me the game and the convo may be adlib but the paying of the check certainly is not. So what makes you think that shifting uncomfortably, staring at him (or the check) and clearing your throat will make him change his mind. Especially if you are smart phone text chick from point 2. Here’s the move ladies, when the check comes give it about a minute then ask the waiter to split it. A guy who intends to pay will stop you short or already have his card out to pay for it all. If you guage a guy by his willingness to pay for a meal then this is the best time to test it. You cannot bully a guy into picking up the tab, he knows you won’t be opening your legs after that first date anyway so the threat of no-sex is moot.

5. Greet Old Friends

Look we hate meeting your buddies even after being your boyfriend for months so why would we want to entertain it from a stranger? Women who see their buddies out while on a date and invite them to the table or worse yet leave the table to go join them for a few are beyond rude. Just don’t do it, the guy sitting there nursing his Martini as his date discusses him with Barbie and Kayla two tables over has probably summed you up to being a bird and will only stick around in hopes of getting that ass after dinner. Many guys are counting red flags on that first date and this is a huge red flag to me when a woman does this. Wave to your friends, tell them you will talk to them later and focus on the man.

6. Barely Talk

If you want to chase a guy off before he even tries anything just clam up and nod without adding much to the convo. I once dated a dime piece who had me being the driver of conversation and she would add little else outside of “yep” or “me too” which I chalked up to cute shyness at first. Then I got quiet myself to see if she would attempt to start a topic and it was something else watching her barely eating and smiling. As an intellectual, I value conversation over a good meal so to me I figured she saw me as a cornball or she was just dense so I hurried an ending to the date.

It’s as simple as this, if you aren’t feeling a guy then let him know, pick up your tab and get on. Don’t be a hypocrite on the passive aggressive tip because you won’t like it when he does the same thing when it comes to dumping you later on. Am I missing any known annoyances?

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