Yesterday was Father’s Day and while I was quite prepared to go through the standard movement of calling my mother to wish her “happy Father’s Day” (one of our traditions with her being a single mom) and flipping past people posting their standard clichéd sentiments on Facebook, something extraordinary happened!
My girlfriend’s daughter, who I have all but adopted as my young padawan learner, made me dinner and wished me a happy Father’s Day! No worries I didn’t cry.
I cannot explain how shocked I am when I meet people who treat us outsiders as more than that when our actions have shown that we are a bit more. What I am used to is a person who cannot see past blood and throws around terms like “half-brother”, “half-sister”, “step-dad” and the like.
Sure society trains us that blood is thicker than water (or non-relatives who care for us) but when I was a child in my household it was a cardinal sin to use such terms. It made me appreciate this young lady that much more for thanking me for caring about her. I may not plan on having children but in terms of life and labels, if there was a daughter it would be she.
Father’s Day Can Be Hurtful To Those Without
Yesterday was a day of celebration for dads across the nations – past, present, old, and young. But like Mother’s Day it can be a cruel reminder to some of us who are without OR those of us who suffered through abusive and poisonous parenting that we are unlike the “normal” who praise their parent for the goodness they have been in their lives.
Social media can be the cruelest thing in our lives when it comes to days like this and the ones who have will never understand the wound it causes to those who don’t. So to be one without, a self-proclaimed bastard and a man who has never expected to be called “father” by anybody, her tiny gesture touched my heart dearly.
My Version of Father’s Day
For me personally Father’s Day is a reminder of all the men in my life who have played the part even without knowing that they have; those men of my past who taught me how to handle business, how to fight, how to improve my drawing skills and even how to pull girls.
If it truly takes a village to raise a child then Father’s Day is a remembrance of the males in my village who made sure that my life was not vacant for machismo.
I have always hoped to mentor and guide a young life to be better than myself and to hopefully skip past the cold shoulder the world offers to a child whose father isn’t around. My happy Father’s Day was confirmation of the love and respect that I have earned from this young girl and it makes me feel good that she could smile, cook and spend time with me on this special day instead of feeling slighted for not having her biological around today.
Thank you to K and her beautiful mother for allowing me in; and to end this article with a smile I’ll leave you with Mr. Shaquille O’Neal, one of our more famous bastards who was blessed to have a father in his life that was not of his blood. How was your Father’s Day?