Aug 14

black woman thinking

Reading the articles and general attitudes of the single women in the Washington DC area it seems that the search for a good, successful, single man is done out of want for a status symbol as opposed to a loving mate. Ladies correct me if I am completely off base with this but what would you assume if a man was to write the following inquiry from a place where women are scarce:

“I have everything a woman could ask for around here; I have a new Benz, a plush apartment, all my teeth, a Doctorate, AND I’m about to make partner! Why are all the good girls around here acting as if they’re gold that I can’t afford?”

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that question would put you on the defensive even without me having to name the area, person, or situation.

The fact that it’s a male saying it about a subset of women, makes that male seem like a boring, unattractive, entitled, individual who probably has social issues that are keeping him single. Yet I have read quite a lot of articles from single women that echo very much the same feeling.

When a woman has everything in the world that most Americans strive for, why would she “need” a partner of similar or better positioning? I pick on the women with this article because studies have shown that on the flip side the successful men tend to aim the other way – gunning for beautiful, unambitious women to play a support role rather than a partner of equal standing.

Is a man really a necessity anymore to the successful she-bosses of the world? If you say that it’s for the family, then I have to ask again, why… are we the 3rd to last checkbox on the winning sheet for the game of life? The checkboxes being the trophy husband, the college-bound children, and then the funeral in a gold-laden casket.

Is it companionship?

I ask all of this because these articles are written by the women I like to think of as “cliff jumpers”. They’re freshly 30, have lived hardcore regimented lives that revolved around career and money, and are now at the point of “find a husband or else” in their minds. I can’t help but wonder if it’s more about appearances than actual want for a life-partner. Which one is it?

For women who write these articles about the men that they are owed for being so awesome at life, I wonder if the single, successful women of the world are a failure in their minds.

Many young women still live by The Cosby Show ideal of the super successful woman married to a super successful husband, living in a large, luxurious house with 4 beautiful kids who are college-bound, well-spoken and on the road to success themselves. Not a bad fantasy to draft a bucket list from but we aren’t owed that life… we are lucky to have that life.

So to the single, successful ladies of the Hall I ask: Is a man a necessity for a successful woman’s life, or are we just another impressive asset to feel like the world is yours? Speak your mind… please.

See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.
  • I would like to say both. Ultimately I think we (people) are meant to pair up. We are social and need companionship. But I think some women dispise the phrase “needing a man” because they dont want to be like the other dumb ass broads that cant go a day without a man. For me I want to be able to have my own but if I have someone that can help me then that is a win/win. But if that someone where to throw the dueces or act a damn fool I can maintain my life without his ass.

    I think women who act like they dont need a man are a damn liar. There is only so much your girls can be there for you. And women are very flaky. There is the group that when they get a man you dont hear from their asses until their left heartbroken and depressed. There is the other group that cant seperate from their man and glued to their hip. You tell them its girls night out and tis fool shows up to your house or the bar with her man looking like a dumb ass.

  • I have heard professionals say the same thing about us being a “pair bonding” species, but I disagree. You are right that we are social and need companionship at some point, but depending on the person that degree varies. Being social as with many animals in nature means you interact with several individuals in a group, we are not mean to only be in pairs. That is why people have trouble with being faithful because for many they have to fight the urge to just stay with one person. I think you would agree that it is rare to find a person that meets 100% of your needs physically and emotionally, and in most cases people compromise parts of themselves to fit into this model society has created.

    Whether a man is a luxury or a necessity really depends on the woman. A woman who is insecure and wants someone else to make the decisions, bring home the most money, and take care of them it’s a necessity. For a woman who is independent and has a loner mentality a man is a luxury, and let’s look at this from a new age perspective a woman can have men that meet different needs and be perfectly fine without marrying one of them which is a luxury.