Feb 21

concerned-girlfriendI recall the blissful days of youth when there were 3 levels of rejection to get through in order to score a girlfriend.

1st – you had to ask her out somewhere… to a movie, good eats, or for a walk – it didn’t matter. The point was that she was given a question, you were left to her mercy in accepting and it was an uncertain outcome.

2nd – you had to ask her out again… depending on how well you clicked in the first date or if you were lucky to have been liked way before all of this the answer was again a gamble but this was the sweet point. See scoring date #2 normally means that there is a chance, and if you’re really vibing she may even let you kiss her at the end.

3rd – you have to ask her to be your girl… If dating was a football game this 3rd step in a young man’s goal of scoring a girlfriend is the 3rd down. Why not the 4th down, I mean it’s do or die right? No… because some guys can get rejected and manage to change her mind after a week of some thought (where she realizes that she has no other options). So this is the 3rd down and you are still in need of 10 yards… you have to throw the damn rock!

What happens for a lot of guys in this situation however is that they clam up for fear of losing the girl altogether. As men we can keep women around for the dumbest reasons:

  • She’s the hottest girl in school and people assume we’re together anyway.
  • She won’t have sex but she let’s me feel her up… GOOD ENOUGH!
  • She just got out of a relationship and I don’t want to rush things.
  • She might say no and then people are gonna ask me what happened.
  • She’s not all that hot but we’re having sex and I can keep her around till Miss Upgrade appears.
  • Kicking it with her may give me access to her hot sister who I really want to date

The list can go on but many of us at one time have been guilty of this nonsense so what do we do? Nothing.

Some guys make the mistake of assuming that a woman is on the same page as them due to certain things she says. Bear with me here, you may have a girl who you really, really want to be yours and she will admit to you that she’s dating you exclusively and you automatically think “erp, well that must mean she’s mah girlfriend!”


When a woman says this to you she is pressing for a commitment not going in a round about way to lock you into a relationship. Think you’re afraid of commitment? Well average young woman is absolutely mortified at the concept. So while grade school girls may have grabbed your arm and forced you to walk with them after proclaiming “you’re my boyfriend!” older girls would rather lay bait and hope you have the common sense and courage to go for it. Capiche!?

So the next time you find yourself in a situation where your status is unsure and you want her to be your girlfriend, just play the 3rd down and ask her. I know it sounds corny to say “will you be my girlfriend?” but it will do you a lot better than assuming that you’re already there.

See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.
  • Some of us struggle to even get past the step and ask a girl out, let alone ask her to be exclusive 😛

    My last girlfriend agreed that we were going out, however was unwilling to say that we were and was unwilling to see me (She would complain every time we met up that she had to cancel something to be with me)

    • Pro

      I gotta be honest Matthew that don’t sound like a girlfriend, it sounds like a broad who didn’t like you but couldn’t go full on evil and tell you to haul ass. Next time you need to just smash and dash. No man deserves that treatment.

    • Sounds like me in my early years of College… I hated the whole “will you be my girl” part and thought it was stupid and unnecessary. My thoughts were that hell, we are doing all the stuff boyfriends and girlfriends do, we aren’t seeing anyone else, why slap a dumb, childish label on it. Good thing I was fortunate to have some extremely cool “girlfriends” at the time to spare me the rude awakening.

      Article reads funny… looking back I now see this, but the point of it all is to say: Slap a label on it and spare yourself the issues later on. That ex of yours sounds like a real piece of work Matthew.