Jul 01

female-detective

There have been some studies that have been conducted and researched to find out why people are engaging in oral sex. Good question, I guess. A theory that has arisen from this research is that when you find your committed partner to be attractive, you are more likely to go down on them. The reason why you would be more likely to do this is not actually because you find them attractive but because you think that they might be cheating on you and so you want to engage in play downstairs to detect any aroma or taste of their infidelity.

Gross.

That is never the reason that I offer my partner fellatio. Promise.

Oral sex can really be an intimate gesture – I mean short of sex, there aren’t really any other sexually intimate things that can occur between two people.  Each person will feel compelled to participate in this act for their own personal reasons. As a lady, I can think of a couple reasons that are NOT about smelling or tasting if they’d been cheating on me.

  Pleasure

Being able to provide your partner with pleasure can be quite the powerful aphrodisiac for turning the heat up in the bedroom. Oral sex, when performed well, can be a sure fire way to get blood flowing to all the right parts of our anatomy to get things to pop off, figuratively, of course.  The feeling of being a sexual being that can stimulate your partner can provide the giver a sense of pleasure. Some women have claimed that by administering oral sex, they too can reach climax. I don’t think I am in that much control of my breath, throat or Kegel muscles. Seriously. But definitely more power to those ladies that can knock that out of the park.  Either way, providing (and in some cases receiving) pleasure is a strong stimuli for women to engage in oral sex.

  Reward

Not the best reason to put it in your mouth but this is a very real reason for many women. For birthdays, anniversaries or taking out the trash may all be great circumstances for some fellatio. It becomes an especially decadent treat if your lady has made apparent her disdain for the whole process. Oral sex as a reward may sound a bit condescending, but reward systems do work in most relationships. So why not extend this system into the bedroom as long as it is keeping the spark going in your relationship. There is pretty big difference between a reward system and using sex as punishment or denying sex – oral or otherwise. When you use sex as a punishment, there begins an element of shame that comes along with the intimacy and the work to get the sex, begins to feel like, you guessed it, WORK. And when sex becomes work, the joy and pleasure that it started off as begins to fade and interest begins to wan. Extra nooky for taking care of or for helping out with a task you’ve been working on will always be well received and fun.

  To abstain from having sex

Another kind of silly reason to go down on your partner is delay the act of sex by just getting your partner off.  I guess there is some idea that women have that if they aren’t having sex with their partner yet, their interest will stray. So, to keep them interested in them, at least sexually, women will perform blow jobs as a consolation prize. This clearly, doesn’t always work but I guess for the girl that can climax as she blows her partner, it’s more of a win-win situation.

  To make it end quicker

Sometimes you just wanna go to bed. And your mouth is going to be the vehicle to get him there. 

  To Keep them

This can have separate issues when thinking about this subject. If you think oral sex is something that is keeping your partner from leaving you, the relationship, quite frankly is doomed. The woman is trying to garner some kind of interest and the other person is simply going through the motions and bustin’ a nut. On the other hand if your partner is pressuring the woman to perform and she is really opposed to the act, then there needs to be some communication about deal-breakers in that relationship. No one should HAVE to or even feel like they HAVE to do anything to keep someone.

Feeling obligated to “kiss it” is a terrible feeling and is something that can feel really demeaning – I mean think about it the worse way possible: on her knees, cringing, lips kind of pursed as she approaches your genitals. I mean, C’mon. Not the most appealing image.

So, take the time to find out how else you can pleasure or satisfy your partner if everything else in the relationship is working. But if there are a lot of other things going on and the couple can’t agree on much else INCLUDING oral sex. Take the hint and put the relationship out of its misery.   

In Closing

Oral sex, blow jobs, going downtown, putting in your mouth – I think I used every one of those euphemisms in this brief article – can happen for a lot of different reasons. And maybe throughout the course our ideas of a lifetime, some woman went to slob a knob (one more) and came to the rather unfortunate determination that it already smelled like ejaculation.  She would have learned a very valuable lesson. Showers are important before oral sex. But we can’t just assume that all women are seeking to use blow jobs as indicators of a partner who has strayed.

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