Are you a great listener to friends and coworkers as they unburden their problems on you? Do you find yourself the one who always know the right thing to say, full of nuggets of wisdom and advice? Be careful, this will fast become your part-time job. Often times it boils down to a single individual complaining about a boss, a partner, or some other personal matter, and it is not uncommon to find your posture changed from listening passively, to participating actively by literally being the shoulder to cry on, and the arms to provide comfort. But it never stops there, and eventually, sex – the great pacifier and purported healer is added to the mix. Unfortunately, this is the modus operandi of most cheaters. Biggest in the game is the married person who puts it up front that “yes I am married, but….” Once you step over this line willingly, there are no holds… [Read more]

Have you ever come across a card that spoke so profoundly to an occasion or person that you are just stunned with disbelief? It’s as if the writer sat with you and you poured your heart out, and BAM!! There’s your precise feelings all summed up in prose. I am a sucker for cards. They are affordable, portable, and travel well. I have received cards over the years that I continue to hold on to them due to their impactful words. Many are typical, while others are short and sweet, and leave me wondering – how the hell did he/she find this? For instance, one card from my honey that still has me looking forward to each day says: Take my hand and walk with me From where we are to where we’ll be Love is a mystery We will learn what life is as we go No map. No answers. All I know is… [Read more]

I am an avid listener of the Steve Harvey Morning Show, and especially of the Strawberry Letter – an email letter format for listeners who seek advice. The majority of the advice sought is about love and relationships, and to a lesser extent other family situations. These letters run the gamut of serious enough for a referral for professional intervention, to downright trifling, repetitive, and stupid! Ooops! Did I say that? Anyway, recently Steve and his cohost Shirley (last name Strawberry) received a letter from a woman who stated she was in a relationship with a married man. She suggested to him for his wife to join them in a threesome (every man’s fantasy right???). After some hesitation on the part of Mr. and Mrs. Down For Anything, this ménage trois was on and popping. This fantastic instigator claims that her lover’s wife is now in love with her and wants to leave her husband… [Read more]

Long distance relationships are tricky and take quite a bit of navigating as you work your way through knowing a person and building a memory bank. For those of us who have our lover just around the corner who we see practically every day, knows the challenges we face and will agree that long distance relationships are not for the feint of heart and the insecure. When you are in a long distance relationship, you tend to depend on different means of contact as a measure of the health of your relationship. When you don’t hear from your sweetie, you might resort to second-guessing yourself by asking, “Is he thinking about me?” “Is someone else siphoning her affection?” Many times these shadowy bits of our imagination are dispelled by the next call or visit, and in some cases may open up a keg of insecurity like a leaking ulcer demonstrated by questions and accusations of… [Read more]

Among the many new years resolution we all make, the typical ones include  weight-loss, exercise, beginning a new project, saving more… you name it. Somehow many of us have never include ways to improve our mental health. Mental Health? What the hell are you talking about Dr. Carly? Well… did you know that 1 out of every 4 persons living in the U.S. has some type of mental health disorder? They run the gamut from mild to severe, but that is not what I really want to call your attention to. Did you realize that both good and bad moods are infectious?  Yes! The fact is our mood and emotions are easily affected by others; especially those we are closest to.  Think back, have you ever been in a great mood and then met up with your honey/parent/friend/co-worker who was in a major funk? All of a sudden, your good mood deflates like a punctured… [Read more]

Now that I have experienced what it is to have a “failed marriage”, I often wonder why I am still hopeful about getting married again, and making it work. With the high rates of divorce and broken relationships, heightened by the recent debacle of Kim Kardashian, it is so easy to become cynical about “I dos”. Everybody has a personal rule as to what assures success or sure failure in marriage. I have heard advice ranging from “live with the person for at lest year, as in a trial run”, to the other side that says “If you shack up, your marriage is guaranteed to fail”.  There are also those who counsel – “Make sure you get to “know” the person. Date for at least one to three years”; yet I have a friend who got married two weeks meeting her husband, and in June of 2012 will celebrate their 40th anniversary. In twisted reference,… [Read more]

Hey, I am a pole baby and well on my way to being bi-polar! Let me explain. I just bought into the fitness craze of pole dancing and I am hooked! After each weeks hour and a half class, I am sore in places I forgot existed!! I happily drive 28 miles 2 to 3 times per week to get my sweat on, and believe me when I say, doing the fireman spin or the merry-go-round on the pole is a lot more fun than running 30 miles per week like I used to, or even trying to mount my boring Stairmaster these days. For every routine learned on the right-side, I have to also perfect it on the left side – hence moving me to the perfectly balanced state of being “Bi-polar”. Get it?? I have supplemented these pole classes with the jam-packed “Jiggle-it” sessions that make Zumba seem like Company G’s trek through… [Read more]

Have you ever been hooked up on a blind date by a well meaning friend, co-worker, or family member? If you have, I hope it went well for you. I have never been on a blind date, and all I can say is “Thank God!” I promise you, this story is not a product of my imagination or creative writing skills. It is the true experience of a co-worker (let’s call her A’Vonique) and is less than 30 days old. A’Vonique had to travel to the Midwest for a week-long work related trip. She excitedly notified a college mate who lives in that city, with the hope of visiting with her. Her friend, knowing A’Vonique was single, announced that she had a “friend” for her to meet and proceeded to set up a blind date. A’Vonique was dressed to a “T” in anticipation of meeting her date. He turned up a few minutes late, dressed… [Read more]