I recently read an article that basically stated that marriage is a dying, archaic institution, especially for Black folks.  Marriage is to partnerships what Beta-Max was to the revolutionizing of in home movie viewing.  If 30 is the new 20, as professed by Jay Z, and we all agree that 20 is hot,  then marriage is like 104 years old.  Suffice to say, it is not hot.  It is allergic to being hot. Now, as a married woman of some years (even that ever crucial 5th one), I can’t, for the life of me, understand what the problem is.  Marriage offers so many benefits, why would one try so hard to avoid it?  First off, umm… the tax break.  And please don’t mess around and throw a kid or two on top of that (only your own please), it’s like Uncle Sam is making it rain and you are the gleeful recipient.  Single Super Mama,… [Read more]

Have you ever been walking along listening to you ipod and a song comes on that either moves you to want to break out in full Flashdance mode, or break down crying like the end of “Imitation of Life?”  And all you can think is that you want someone else to hear it and feel what you feel…but you cant.  Later, you try to describe the song  and how it made you feel to someone, but they look at you like you’re crazy, but offer you affirmative responses, like they get it, when you both know they don’t.  You both know that they can’t get it; it’s impossible.  Because it wasn’t just that song it was that moment.  It was yours, alone. That’s what a argument between two people who love each other is like.  Everyone walking through life with uncomfortable, ill-fitting ear buds in, listening to our own soundtrack.  Taking them off only long… [Read more]

My life is a contradiction, the most disturbing of which is the fact that I drive a minivan.  It’s not even a slick one; you know the ones with televisions, heated seats, automatic doors and real windows everywhere that open.  Now, I’m young (enough), and cool (enough) , yet everyday I get behind the wheel of a silver turtle on wheels.  While the minivan offers many amenities, such as the ability to tote my kids, without having to strap someone to the trunk, it comes at a steep price.  It instantly zaps all my sex appeal.  It is the place where my sexiness goes to die. I mean, I don’t have to worry about a carload of creepy dudes rolling up alongside of me trying to holler, but short of that, it provides little comfort.  It’s like a magical minivan, that regardless of what I’m wearing or how cute I was in the house, I’m… [Read more]