While single men and married men can hang-out and do many things together, there are a few zones that are just awkward when you’re single. Like it or not there are two differing factions when it comes to your social life. There’s the Player’s Club for Singles and the Couple’s Getaway Club for Married folks. Awkward feelings tend to arise when a member of one of these Clubs tries to enter into the other without the proper credentials. Being that I have been the awkward single guy at many a Couple’s Getaway, I’ve compiled a list of events that you should probably avoid attending as a single man.
Weddings (when you’re the last friend single)
If you have a great group of friends and you’re the last one left not married, attending that guy’s wedding will put a lot of attention on you. Prepare to have all the newly married people asking you about your relationship status. And let’s not get into the anonymous hookups that your friend’s wives will try to orchestrate with their hyper-single (and most likely toxic) girlfriends.
The Wedding of an ex-Girlfriend
Just don’t do it! Have some self-respect, what are you even going there for? Every wedding I have gone to had someone whispering about how such-and-such is in attendance and still in love with the bride. Don’t be that guy, there is nothing good about it. I am still trying to figure out why people send invitations out to their exes anyway.
Why do you think they are so quick to mention the “singles meetings”? Church is for married people and people looking to get married, fast. Trust me, unless you want to be hooked up with someone serious about “the word”, sleep in on Sundays and avoid this place. God doesn’t like singles, anyway (tongue planted firmly in cheek).
Kid’s Birthday Parties
Unless you have a kid of your own, or you’re a blood relative, avoid these functions like the plague. What’s in it for you? There’s kids running about having fun, and married people talking about married people stuff. If you’re committed to go, drop a gift off and bounce. Spare yourself the boredom, and the awkward conversations that will eventually gravitate towards your sex life.
Of course there will be a few men to say – “I love my buddy’s kids. I will go to all of their birthdays!” but as with any list these are mere suggestions to make your life a tad bit easier. Did I miss any events on this list that are guaranteed to be awkward?See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.