Mar 10

break_ballsOne of the ways us men show affection for one another is through an activity called “breaking balls”. The term is referred to by many names but being who I am, I tend to go with that term over the rest. Synonyms include but are not limited to “ribbing”, “chewing” and “razzing”. Chances are you have heard one of these terms before.

It takes a special kind of bond to get into breaking balls effectively, if you and your comrade aren’t on a certain level of friendship it will be misunderstood as an attack on his character. It is not a simple gesture being that effectively breaking balls weigh on not only the temperment of your friend but the results you seek in doing so. There are different reasons to break balls and different methods in doing so.

The friendly jab – This is the norm amongst close guys. It is an ongoing thing that outsiders can view as “being mean” or “picking on each other”. An example of this is passing by a bunch of friends and you overhear one saying “hey where’s that cow you call a wife at?”, without knowing their situation you automatically want to judge the guy saying this as some asshole bully picking on a nice guy. Chances are he’s breaking his balls and the guy receiving it will be volleying one back at him.

The bitch slap – At times you have a friend who breaks balls a bit too much, there is never a break with this guy and he never stops. This guy does it so much he will even do it to strangers, which can and will result in him getting his ass kicked or killed. This guy is an exception to the rule and normally doesn’t keep friends around too much.

The pacifist – Worst of all in the art of breaking balls is the pacifist. This is the guy that doesn’t strike back when attacked so is normally the weak target that gets preyed on by the group. He will take the insults over and over until one day when he is at a boiling point will bark out something truly offensive and kill the friendship altogether. This is the guy who will come out with “shut up Harry your wife is a whore and you’re a douche bag!” followed by silence and a pissed off Harry.

Think of breaking balls as friendly competition amongst guys for alpha status. We can be like dogs in that sense and climb over each other to be the big man. We can’t kick each others ass without it becoming personal so its easier to throw a friendly insult out there once in awhile to keep the testosterone happy.

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