Let me preface this article by saying that I may sound as if I am about to use the tired old “strippers are sluts and gold diggers” argument but I’m not. Read the article.
Okay here is the thing. I remember when I turned 18 and I went to my first Strip Club. My buddy at the time warned me to play hard-to-get and stretch my money out because he wanted to be there for a bit… since he was dating one of them. Upon hitting the doors to the place, I am propositioned by a full nude woman and bam my measly $60 was done within 15 minutes. After that initial experience I fell in love with the Strip Club, I would go every other month for my lap dance, bed dance whatever the particular club offered but I never went alone, and I never fell in love. It dawned on me even as a young inexperienced trick coughing up that $60 to the coke head in a g-string that this was a huge game where I was a loser. Maybe it’s due to the wise words of the men that had been in my life or maybe I am just weird but I always knew a stripper was a stripper.
The Strip Club had one main perk to attending, especially in Tampa. There would normally be a featured performer and 9 times out of 10 it was a porn star. And yes you guessed it, I was a porn hound to match the most rabid, it was like a red carpet event when I got to see Jeanna Fine, Raylene or Heather Hunter in person. Still, I had no delusions as to what I was there for. I was going there to kick it with friends, look at real naked women, spend a mint and leave. So let me get to the point… with this history of mine, I witnessed friends falling for strippers, getting tricked by strippers and getting their ass kicked by strippers. All because they knew no line or difference between average girl and stripper girl. And there is a pretty thick line, not to knock stripping because with the money they make, if god had granted me breasts and an ass I would be on the stage every night too, capitalizing and eating REAL GOOD. So when I saw the guys who were taking their numbers, getting to know them personally and trying to wife them, I almost felt evil for feeling the way I do about them. I would think “maybe I am too untrusting, callous or cold” then a friend would pop up burnt and disfigured from a stripper relationship and I would snap right back into reality.
Date her as an Asset not a Liability
Here’s the thing, its an easy equation so follow me. If you are the baller (money-maker) then you are the asset. If you are an average Joe, then the stripper is the asset. One more time, stay with me this time my friends – If you are the baller (money-maker) then you are the asset. If you are an average Joe, then the stripper is the asset. What does this mean? For the average Joe dating a stripper it can be very rewarding. You get a sexy woman who has no qualms with taking her clothes off, she probably makes 3 times the money you do and she probably has no financial education whatsoever. So this means gifts, gifts, gifts! Even though she can come with enormous baggage, a drug habit, a jealous urge (that can lead to you getting shot), or some sort of STD. If that sounds good to you then more power to you, in that relationship where the stripper is the asset, she has a whole lot more to lose than you, so it’s well worth it.
Now on the other end of the spectrum if you are Joe Athlete or Joe Politician or Joe Musician (see below) the strip club is not a good place to get a Goomah or Wife. Grind on those girls, pay them your little money, because lets face it a few hundred dollars when you make millions a year is well… nothing right? Just don’t lose your mind fellas, I am so tired of hearing about fools who go too far with the strippers and money grubbers. Remember the phrase I repeated in the last paragraph about assets? Here is the flip side for you, if you are the baller (money-maker) then that stripper who you swear is the image of perfection because you have seen her fully naked… is a HUGE LIABILITY.
At one time I thought that the movie Pretty Woman was a chick flick, this was until it dawned on me that every man has a little Richard Gere in him. She dances like a demon, throws it back like nothing you’ve seen before then curls up into your arms and listens to your bullsh-t for hours on end. You think to yourself “man this chick is all that”, periodically she gets up and dances for you some more keeping your lower weakness as hard as iron. You return whenever you are in town and she targets you and tells all the other chicks to “back-off that’s my customer”. Soon you form a stripper-relationship inside the club, she becomes “your” stripper. You are no longer going to The Club, you are going to see the stripper. She finds out more about you and you think you know about her… how she is in town to work on her modeling but couldn’t find work. How she is only stripping to make ends meet and wishes to pursue her true career. She gives you more sensual lap-dances as she pours her heart out to you. And then she asks you to take her home… Mr. big, tough, stupid athlete. Of course you oblige and she rocks your f-cking world… the media has a field day and she sells a book.
I was disappointed when I watched that show Hip-Hop Wives and saw Big Pun pistol whipping his woman and being an all around bastard of a human being. It tainted me to the point that I can’t even listen to his music without seeing that scene replay itself in my head. See I can make a few excuses for an angry male snapping and putting hands on a woman James Bond style, but when you pistol whip her that’s a whole other ball game. Still, that was pretty horrific but even moreso was learning that the triple-threat maestro of talent Mos-Def went out and married a stripper. Apparently after getting some sense and stepping away (allegedly refusing to sign the divorce papers so she doesn’t stick him for alimony). So what does she do, can you guess this one? Well if you are a stripper with a goal for making large cash, you capitalize as best you can right? That’s right, the ultimate cash cow, the TELL ALL BOOK. Seriously, who buys and reads this crap?
I just really wish that as a collective, men would just wisen up to this. The worst is when you see that the trick had a beautiful wife and kids at home… fooling himself that this seductress can make him happy. I review movies, and I love a fairy-tale romance, I also know that a ton of young money making men have delusions of playboy status. Banging as many women as possible to be a man’s man, but that is a thing of folklore, tales and storybooks. In reality the stripper will f— your body, your mind and then your liquid assets. If you haven’t figured that out by now as a man and you still go in there for more than a night of $20 entertainment then you are a hopeless fool.See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.