Jul 30


“Spurglar: a woman who steals sperm to ‘accidentally’ fall pregnant”.

Thank you Cosmopolitan for coming up with a new word to define this act. Sure the number of women that are seeking education and careers are getting higher (very thankful to be in that category) and yes when this happens the age that women AND men become parents also has a tendency to also be higher. But does this mean that women should be stealing sperm to get pregnant?

Being a single parent definitely isn’t a new concept nor is it an impossible task but should this be the aim that men or women should be seeking? This article was limited to women that had stolen sperm but men can be just as guilty of this too. In my single days, I went on a date with a guy that I met on an online dating site and he felt completely comfortable in telling me that he had poked holes in the condoms that he and his ex-wife had used because he had been ready to be a father. He was also very confused when I declined a second date with him.

spurglarHaving a child, whether you are an active participant in that child’s life or not should be something that you are able to decide on prior to the act if it can be avoided. It’s 2013 and most of the literate world is aware of birth control methods, which assists with the number of unplanned pregnancies. I know that unplanned pregnancies still do occur for some smart and intelligent people, but seriously, if you have sex without some form of birth control, you are taking a risk of fertilizing an egg or contracting an STI (sexually transmitted infection) bottom line. And if you are engaging in what you think is protected sex and someone hoodwinks you into being a parent that just – fucks up the situation, quite frankly.

We should not be making up some cute little terminology for something that is just awful. A sperm burglar is not something that girls should hope to become one day, even in jest.  And men should not be hoping or aiming to be an ovary-napper like the goof ball who admitted that on a first and last date.

If you can’t talk about what you want, be that a child or a committed relationship then guess what – you aren’t ready for it. And for the guys that are happy that they were tricked into being fathers – nut up, clearly you were ready for it and were living in denial, thinking that being a father would crimp your style or hinder your lifestyle.

See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.
  • JT

    Sadly Lulu, as you get older, you will realise your article correctly refers to 95%+ of the female child bearing population although very few men. I have only met 1-2 couples in my life so far who actually planned their pregnancy – the rest describe it as ‘falling’ pregnant and when quizzed what they actually mean is they deliberately got pregnant. I’ve always felt that women who do this are too stupid to be a parent and are definitely with the wrong person – given the amount of single parents it seems this feeling is correct. I’m not interested in a debate about how marriages fail – but accidentally getting pregnant on purpose probably isn’t going to help it work… Especially annoying are those women in their 40’s and 50’s who complain about being single, yet they have children and in most cases grandchildren too. I never had kids – too honest plus I never met the right man when I was younger – so it really pisses me off that these women who did one of the worst acts of deceit there can be now complain about being single.

    • Thanks!

      It definitely is sad. Being single (and childless) for most
      of my life I do hold empathy for woman who feel compelled to trick the
      guy they are sleeping within into a lifetime of commitment – or at least
      attempt to. In a relationship with someone who cares about your
      feelings and needs (biological or otherwise) should be something that
      you feel free to discuss and feel validated.

      Dating is hard. Getting pregnant accidentally on purpose can make it a lot harder.

    • Lia

      95%+ is a ridiculous number. There are plenty of couples who decide together to have children or more rarely not to, as in the case of my husband and I. Also your assertion of “very few men” is inaccurate. What’s referred to as “forced pregnancy” is a pretty common method used by abusers to tie women to them.

      Using deception is a method used by both men and women to bind someone to them. It is inexcusable and rarely works for long. No one employing such a method is mature, mentally/emotionally stable or smart enough to raise a child. They are usually extremely insecure people who think they can force others to love them instead of behaving in a manner that merits it.

      • JT

        Yes Lia, that’s why I didn’t say 100%. You’re replying to completely different issues in your first paragraph than those which I referred and I agree with your points. My point is regarding female ‘sperm burglars’ alone – which is what the original article is writing about. Your second paragraph is saying pretty much exactly what my post is saying.