Jan 01


If you are a beta male that has accepted that you are not women’s first choice in a world of encouraged hypergamy, you need to understand that it is not the end of the world. Though your position comes with a lot of shame and embarrassment—especially if you realize what you are after a messy divorce—it doesn’t mean that you are locked into that social standing.

Beta attitudes are learned and misunderstood as a normative male trait since it is normally driven by other betas or their allies (who don’t hold men in high regard to begin with). It is meant to make you become a warm and fuzzy abstract of a man so that the world around you feels no need to give you extra focus. To be beta, is to be a part of a wave of modern men that are not allowed to choose, not allowed to be heard, they are merely allowed to be convenient.

Change yourself and the world changes with you

To deprogram your mindset from being another “safe” piggy bank to the beautiful users of the world, you will first have to work on setting boundaries on your self-respect. A 2-year old utilizes the word “no” like a fancy new toy, but for some reason men grow up to forget its usefulness.

A man with brains and boundaries is sexy but a man with brains who fears for a woman leaving him or not talking to him is a tool.

Come on, we all have known guys that have admitted that they work, dress and attend to their passions in order to garner female attention. Guys who married a working woman and then allowed her to convince them that it is okay for her to stay home and play housewife. Stay with me here. Though there are no children, she sucks at housekeeping, and spends like a princess with a black card.

Dragon’s Note: You don’t get any more hardcore beta than this.

A man with boundaries would probably say: “Okay babe, but if you’re going to play housewife then can you please make sure x,y and z are done daily, I get x, y, and z, and you allow me to take charge of the finances so that I know where we stand. If that doesn’t happen, then it won’t be working out. A beta mindset reads that and thinks “Oh man, but then she’ll get upset and then there’s an argument and no sex.” If you find that your thinking is on the level with this then you must accept that you may simply be a woman’s tool.

Setting boundaries is not synonymous with being an ass

Many beta guys who get hurt and wake up to realize that they are life’s “nice guy” and the laughing stock of the female populous will immediately think to go to the extreme right. They see the guys in life that are not subscribing to the “rules” and are getting paid in dividends (read:sex) by women who bend over backwards to get their attention. This could be due to money, machismo, or just an aura of attractiveness. All the beta sees in that the guy over there is winning and he wants to stop losing so badly that he aims to become just like him. This is where pickup artists swoop in to sell them game.

If you become reactionary and act on your impulses, you force a change in yourself which isn’t natural, and you begin to ape the ways of an asshole instead of the ways of a confident man. There are many similarities which can make people confuse the two but I will try to show you the differences and why they seem the same – AH stands for asshole, and CM stands for confident man:

  • An AH thinks that all women are tools you just have to know how to play them. A CM sees women as human beings, but like human beings some are tools and some are valid life prospects.
  • AH brag and talk about getting over on women, a CM doesn’t really think about it.
  • CM will tell a woman no in a situation that violates his self-respect but is willing to entertain alternative solutions. AH tell women no if they think it can manipulate her into thinking him a CM and therefore worthy of sex.
  • A CM is attractive to women, an AH has to trick women into thinking they are a CM.
  • An AH is out for revenge due to a past experience, a CM is out to mind his business.
  • A CM says and does things to reinforce his ideology and his code on life, an AH does things because they look and sound a certain way.

The two can look the same to males that are on the outside looking in but both will get ridiculed by the blind who misunderstand their intent. Beta males like to call confident guys that have gone their own way “bitter” especially if they are with a woman who is smart enough to make them feel in charge. Confident men don’t like to hang out with assholes, but assholes run in deep packs – leaderless of course, but the pack keeps each other strong.

So you have to pay attention and fix your heart and mind to becoming a better you if you want to shed the beta label and get some goals in the game. Boundaries (firm ones) are the way to snap out of the beta mindset and become a respectable man. Your boundaries protect you and your self-respect and they send a message to your mate that you are flexible, but when it comes to certain things, you absolutely will not sell yourself short. 

See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.