Feb 23

I remember the day my man Lawrence broke up with his girl he volunteered me some photographs of her topless bodice. While I feigned interest because that’s my man and I know he did it to satisfy his wont to humiliate her, what he had done was to burn her breasts into my brain so that I can never be in a state of wonder when I see her again. This humiliation is also performed by women that want to humiliate their ex, but it is done in the form of describing your anatomy if you should be born with less than a hammer in your pants. See fellas, this is the main reason I tell you that when you do get some panties you had better lay it down hard like your family’s life depended on it. You need to go full throttle Brian… [Read more]

Feb 16

Many times on this site we present a side of macho that is super traditional and biased in its stance. The idea of “man” that we normally present is mistaken for the brawler athlete jock who goes to parties, gets the cheerleaders and grows up to inherit daddy’s company. We realize that it can be seen that way but it is far from the ideal that we want and that ideal is to give you that James Bond edge. I don’t mean the Roger Moore slapping women and taking the booty swagger but a bit of that Sean Connery / Piers Brosnan flair. Since it’s hard to explain to a person how to channel Bond without him trying to actually “be” Bond, we offer you some steps to get you close to the ideal for which we strive. The 007 Steps of Cool will put… [Read more]

Jan 13

This is a formal request to all male celebrities to stop sending your groupies pictures of your deal. I know that you get excited when you meet a new, sexy chick and you feel empowered in sending her a pic and having her tell you how big you are, but as with anything else you need to use the big head and not the little one. If you are going to send the nasty d-ck picture you need to make sure that it is as abstract as possible ie: nobody should be able to tell it’s you if it gets in the wrong hands. So full body shots, MySpace shots and the between the legs, bird’s eye view shot isn’t recommended. The reason I felt a need to address this is due to the amount of embittered exes that are posting pictures of naked males… [Read more]

Dec 21

“Desperation is like a cheap version of a fine scent. Everyone except you can smell it.” Well that’s what I usually say when I see a desperate girl. Desperate girls come in assorted shapes and sizes, a bit like a box of Roses or Quality Street! You never know what kind of crack case you’re gonna be dealing with unless you unwrap her. (No boys, I DID NOT say undress her). Women are like a Box of Chocolates Some chocolate wrappers LOOK amazing and make you want to devour them, some of them look average and taste amazing, there are those that no one wants that get passed around and finally you have the rare chocolate whose wrapper is nice and shiny AND it’s delicious! I’ve described the categories of women that a man will come across in his lifetime. Some girls are truly stunning,… [Read more]

Nov 04

I’ve been guilty of this several times over until recently when I made a promise to refrain from doing so in the future. The reason I came to this decision is because the act of talking bad on one’s ex is akin to whining and a gentleman does not whine, he deals and overcomes. For what it’s worth my exes haven’t been THAT bad, not enough to warrant discussion beyond how we met and why we split. To be honest we all owe our exes a degree of gratitude (unless they were cancerous to your soul). Our exes helped us grow into who we are today, like it or not this is a fact. Talking about your ex could also clue your current in on the fact that you aren’t fully over her. To discuss someone is to have them on one’s mind and it… [Read more]

Sep 28

Recently I was enjoying some good old school reggae, when I heard Maxi Priest burst onto the air waves with the rhythmic “Hey Fatty, Fatty”.  I was always under the assumption that unlike the U.S., many African and Caribbean nations held fat women as desirable icons of beauty.  I paused to really listen to the words, only to realize Maxi Priest was actually berating her for being fat. He belts out– “Hey Fatty Fatty, why are you behaving like that (go long so)? When you come to the party/club (dance) you do your own thing! You move your hips like they are on a hinge. You do the “round-the-world”, you do the “electric move”, you do the “water-pumping”, and you say you want to “bubble” with me. You walk down the road as if you are slim, because you don’t know that in town you… [Read more]

Sep 21

There are times when a man will find himself in a situation where he must choose between appearance and comfort. The standard of our time is to choose the latter especially if there is no need to impress a female (the man is either married or in a lengthy relationship). While this standard may seem ideal and “comfortable”, it goes away from the warrior standard. The ancient Samurai known to be the most impressive of warriors stressed appearance as well as skill on the battlefield. An unseemly appearance before and after being cut down in battle was shameful. For this an ideal Samurai would have his armor clean, and beautiful, his nails clipped and together, his hair tight and his appearance solid prior to joining the ranks to do war. Men of today use the logic of “I am going to die anyway so who… [Read more]

Aug 23

Say what you will about Wyclef Jean, his actions in calming the citizens of Port-au-Prince after being denied his candidacy for president of Haiti is worthy of accolades. Many of us were impressed by Wyclef’s bid for the position after knowing his lengthy dedication to being an ambassador for Haiti and spending his own money, time and resources for the betterment of it’s people. If this is new to you readers then I would urge you to do some research into his dedication outside of his career as a multi-talented musician, rapper and founder of The Fugees. Long story short, if there was someone to be a likely candidate as president of Haiti, it would be Wyclef. What exactly happened? After receiving multiple death threats from Haitians opposed to his running for President, Wyclef Jean hid out silently in Port-au-Prince. In support of their beloved… [Read more]