A friend of mine was recently diagnosed with colon cancer. He attributed his customary heartburn, constipation and the presence of blood in his stool as “normal” (to him), especially that hemorrhoids were common among his family members.  Well, a colonoscopy had this vibrant 40+ year-old saying “Oh shit!” Did you know you should be taking a look at your poop on a regular basis to keep an eye on your digestive heath? Stools are the end product of eating and digesting our meals, as the body rid itself of undigested foods and toxins.  Have you ever wondered what a “normal stool” should be like especially when we experience the hardness and looseness of this smelly necessity? Well, let’s take a look. Normal Stool should have the general color of cardboard, 4 to 8 inches long, and curved like a banana. It should leave your body easily without the need to strain or push, and without… [Read more]

I was watching the reality show “Sweetie Pies” and observed how victimized Tim felt as everyone in his family, especially his mother and fiancée, complained about his pursuit of money at the sacrifice of quality time with family. The same sentiment was expressed by Chrissy in another reality show “Chrissy & Mr. Jones”. Tim works long hours, seven days per week, in the family restaurant business, while Jim Jones is working hard at re-energizing his rap career by spending hours in the studio. I have seen this very thing way back in the days when I used to watch Jerry Springer, and one person would use this as an excuse for cheating. He or she would complain “You are always working, never spend any time with me!”  On the flip side, I have also heard the reasoning “You never take me anywhere. You don’t do anything for me but he/she does”. But how does one… [Read more]

Muhammad Ali said “I am the greatest!” Usain Bolt said “I am a legend”. What confidence! I can think of a few others such as Beanie Man who answers this question based on his sexual prowess and attraction as he chants in his song – “Who am I?, the girl dem sugar!!!” This question has the power to elicit confidence as well as confusion, delusion, and doubt. Often times the question comes from the need to introduce oneself. With hand outstretched, do you give your name? “Hi, I am Delaney”, or “My name is Jordan and I am a singer/song writer”. This kind of response indicates the perceived value of associating “who you are” with “what you do”. Have you ever seen the reaction of “Hi, I’m David and I am a doctor” to the response of, “Oh, nice to meet you David, what kind of doctor are you?” What about you? Don’t you have… [Read more]

What is it about some of us women, who once we meet the “love of our life”, we drop our association with “old friends”? I have a girlfriend whom I have spent many wonderful, hours with. Although we do not live in the same city, we used to make time visiting with each other and it was a special treat. We would shop, get spa treatments, workout, chat and laugh for hours, and discover new restaurants together. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy that she (and others of you who might be guilty) has found love; however, what I don’t appreciate is the ad-hoc call you get once in a blue moon, filled with excuses, and then the bearing of the soul to get some reassurance, or to provide a shoulder to cry on. I will be the first to encourage making your relationship a priority, and to take great care in being available… [Read more]

Last Saturday I went to dinner with a friend, and saw a reality show celebrity in the company of her husband, son, and another male at dinner. My dinner company was the first to recognize the son, and when I turned around I saw the familiar short, blond hair cut of the woman. I was amazed at how quickly my girl recognized them, and I had to admit this moment would have easily passed me had I been alone. Am I that unaware? Most importantly, I had no desire to “meet” her, and even as I walked past her table I had absolutely no urge to “holler” at her in the typical ways fans do. This led to a conversation with my friend who shared that another individual who is big in the game was highly insulted when Jasmine Guy did not acknowledge him as she danced to his music at a social event. Well,… [Read more]

Have you ever tried to borrow money and got turned down? How did that make you feel? Mad? Disappointed? Frustrated? Belittled? You might not agree, but that person just did you a huge favor. What do I mean? Well, if you are borrowing money to make a purchase or to pay a bill, borrowing is not the proactive solution. It is much like digging a hole on the left to fill the one the right. Trust me, you will never get ahead that way. I know it’s tough, and borrowing often seems like the best short-term solution. We often borrow with the best intention to pay back right away, but life happens and resentment and avoidance becomes the name of the game. Have you ever done the credit card shuffle where one credit card is used to pay the other, or transferring balances to new cards? This too is like stepping into a sinking hole,… [Read more]

Are you a great listener to friends and coworkers as they unburden their problems on you? Do you find yourself the one who always know the right thing to say, full of nuggets of wisdom and advice? Be careful, this will fast become your part-time job. Often times it boils down to a single individual complaining about a boss, a partner, or some other personal matter, and it is not uncommon to find your posture changed from listening passively, to participating actively by literally being the shoulder to cry on, and the arms to provide comfort. But it never stops there, and eventually, sex – the great pacifier and purported healer is added to the mix. Unfortunately, this is the modus operandi of most cheaters. Biggest in the game is the married person who puts it up front that “yes I am married, but….” Once you step over this line willingly, there are no holds… [Read more]

Have you ever come across a card that spoke so profoundly to an occasion or person that you are just stunned with disbelief? It’s as if the writer sat with you and you poured your heart out, and BAM!! There’s your precise feelings all summed up in prose. I am a sucker for cards. They are affordable, portable, and travel well. I have received cards over the years that I continue to hold on to them due to their impactful words. Many are typical, while others are short and sweet, and leave me wondering – how the hell did he/she find this? For instance, one card from my honey that still has me looking forward to each day says: Take my hand and walk with me From where we are to where we’ll be Love is a mystery We will learn what life is as we go No map. No answers. All I know is… [Read more]