Aug 05

Hey, I am a pole baby and well on my way to being bi-polar! Let me explain. I just bought into the fitness craze of pole dancing and I am hooked! After each weeks hour and a half class, I am sore in places I forgot existed!! I happily drive 28 miles 2 to 3 times per week to get my sweat on, and believe me when I say, doing the fireman spin or the merry-go-round on the pole is a lot more fun than running 30 miles per week like I used to, or even trying to mount my boring Stairmaster these days. For every routine learned on the right-side, I have to also perfect it on the left side – hence moving me to the perfectly balanced state of being “Bi-polar”. Get it?? I have supplemented these pole classes with the jam-packed “Jiggle-it”… [Read more]

Jul 27

Have you ever been hooked up on a blind date by a well meaning friend, co-worker, or family member? If you have, I hope it went well for you. I have never been on a blind date, and all I can say is “Thank God!” I promise you, this story is not a product of my imagination or creative writing skills. It is the true experience of a co-worker (let’s call her A’Vonique) and is less than 30 days old. A’Vonique had to travel to the Midwest for a week-long work related trip. She excitedly notified a college mate who lives in that city, with the hope of visiting with her. Her friend, knowing A’Vonique was single, announced that she had a “friend” for her to meet and proceeded to set up a blind date. A’Vonique was dressed to a “T” in anticipation of meeting… [Read more]

Dec 30

Have you ever had the experience where you expressed your love in some form and it was not received as such? Perhaps it was this past Christmas where you could literally see the shoulders of your honey just drop when he or she opened the gift you thought was just perfect! Well, believe it or not, people speak different love languages, and our love tank can be filled or emptied based on how we communicate with our lover’s emotional language. When the love tank is empty, we tend to feel used and unloved. So according to Gary Chapman, these are five love languages we use to fill our emotional tanks. #1: Words of Affirmation Compliments, words of encouragement, and requests rather than demands all affirm the self-worth of your lover. They create intimacy, heal wounds, and bring out the full potential of your other half…. [Read more]

Dec 20

Part 3 – true loves: the spiciness of different love archetypes So – why does it seem like we tend to fall in love with that person who is 80% perfect, and who might be so off tract at times that the “missing” 20% drives us nuts? Well, the old adage says opposites attract, and who wants to date their prototype anyway? See what spicy masala happens when different archetypes come together. Innocent Lover & Steadfast Lover: Although in most respects they are opposites, they tend to complete and complement each other. The Innocent Lover’s desire to be loved and cherished fits comfortably with the Steadfast Lover’s desire for the constancy of staying in love. The partners are typically comfortable, cooperative, caring, and secure. Others may believe there is a “power” difference; instead there is a good deal of warmth, respect, and mutual caring. Mercurial… [Read more]

Dec 13

PART 2 – TRUE LOVES: THE PAIRING OF THE LOVE ARCHYTYPES Last week we were introduced to the idea of four love archetypes, one of which is our natural tendency when expressing love. In part two we will explore what the relationship looks like when these love types are equally paired. Two Mercurial Lovers The life of two mercurial lovers can be exciting, open, and full of energy based on the partners’ belief in autonomy and independence. They prefer to be individually responsible for things rather than working on them together. They see work and friendships as a source of joy and fulfillment, usually accepting of each other’s opposite-sex friendships with no cause for distrust or jealousy. While others may view this relationship as unstable, they treat each other as valued friends and partners. They welcome their partner’s honest confrontation, even if hurtful and interpret… [Read more]

Dec 06

“To love and be loved” – Is this the benchmark of our ultimate happiness? I am sure you will agree that we all strive for love, especially romantic love – no matter our call in life or how old we grow. Does that mean there is only one way of loving and be loved? I ask this question because we tend to judge other people’s relationship based on our own standards, or by what we believe society’s standard is of a “good” relationship (thanks to the media). For instance, you might frown at the cougar who you believe is “robbing the cradle”, thinking, surely it must be all physical! Or you may mutter under your breath “get a room already!”over the puppy-love display of two teens sucking faces in public. Well, according to relationship gurus Alex & Naomi Quenk, we all express love differently depending… [Read more]

Sep 28

Recently I was enjoying some good old school reggae, when I heard Maxi Priest burst onto the air waves with the rhythmic “Hey Fatty, Fatty”.  I was always under the assumption that unlike the U.S., many African and Caribbean nations held fat women as desirable icons of beauty.  I paused to really listen to the words, only to realize Maxi Priest was actually berating her for being fat. He belts out– “Hey Fatty Fatty, why are you behaving like that (go long so)? When you come to the party/club (dance) you do your own thing! You move your hips like they are on a hinge. You do the “round-the-world”, you do the “electric move”, you do the “water-pumping”, and you say you want to “bubble” with me. You walk down the road as if you are slim, because you don’t know that in town you… [Read more]

Sep 08

It does not take rocket science to figure out that there are real issues for all groups of singles. Ingrained stereotypes and idealistic expectations make every potential suitor come up short: Mr. Right has to make six figures Ms. Perfect cannot display “blow up potential” That guy is too much of a metrosexual Two or more kids? – she must be damaged goods And the list goes on and on. Any man who wants to holler at me must be able to bring something to the table. Now what that “something” is – is open to interpretation – yours, not mine. I can tell you most definitively that I am not willing to play taxi driver, I will not be going dutch on a date, (I did say a DATE!), and I should not have to tell him to mind his manners or pull up… [Read more]