May 29
Scene from A clockwork Orange - Alex and Gang beat up a homeless man

On one of the writing forums that I frequent, a female member asked if the popular trope of men being at odds and fighting it out before become best friends is a real one. Quite a number of men chimed in—myself included—and we let her know that it’s unrealistic. As men, we seek out other men of like interests, and we meet our comrades doing things that we love. Violence is rarely a good cause and effect of positivity in a young person’s life. The friends that I fought in High School were already friends and the beat down to establish respect is a little different from our topic today, which is bullying and the misconceptions we have of it. Coming up we have all witnessed bullying, and many of us remember sitting back tight-lipped about it wondering: Why doesn’t the kid just fight back… [Read more]

Dec 12
Father playing with a baby at the beach

  “I have always been the one to carry the weight of this family/relationship. I work, and solely provide the support to sustain our household. He just finished school and aspires to be a career athlete and absolutely refuses to function in a typical work setting or “settle” for a 9-5 job.” – letter to me from a Lady Dragon If it’s one thing you realize when you grow up–I mean truly grow up–is that you were one bullheaded, young fool at one time. You thought you had it all figured out, and that your opinion on things would never waver.  Good girls came and went, but you were looking to smash (you’ll just find another one…when it’s time). Smash em, and smash em, and smash em all. SMASH, SMASH, SMASH, SMASH, SMASH, howl at the moon, and smash some more! That’s how we do… [Read more]

Jun 14
lady-hellgate-giveaway

Well it’s Father’s Day weekend (as of this writing), and I have a new book out… You DO see where I am going with this right? In my new book Lady Hellgate, the lead character “Helga”, is influenced by her father and various father figures throughout her military career. Fathers have been the topic of many discussions throughout the media but more “spoken of”, versus “spoken to”.  I would love to add something positive to the climate by putting together a few responses from real dads about how they love fatherhood. But I wouldn’t just ask… I know better. How about I give you some good reading in exchange for your voice? Here’s an excerpt from Lady Hellgate: The dark man in white stood up suddenly and touched Helga’s arm with the rod. It was cold to the touch and it made her happy. She was no longer… [Read more]

Apr 14
redhead-selfie

While studies may suggest a link between selfie-taking and mental illness, my experience has been anything but detrimental to my mental health. I would hazard to guess that many people who experience PTSD find selfie-taking a healing, rather than damaging activity. When growing up, I was discouraged from looking in the mirror and, as a result, was not able to identify with myself in ways that most children took for granted. I did not have pictures of birthday parties or other happy moments to refer back to. These kinds of pictures were simply not available to me. As a result, I grew up lacking a key foundational element in my development… | Read the rest at Toilet Paper People |

Mar 12
bossy girls, arguing, girls fighting, bullies

Recently, I’ve been seeing a lot of things on social media relating to “bossy” girls and how they should be encouraged and congratulated. I find this meme incredibly aggravating because the reality is that the girls in question are not behaving in a way that is at all desirable.  Bossy little girls are not being strong leaders, they are being overbearing dictators, hence the negative connotation associated with the word bossy. The people posting these things are implying that the word has a negative connotation simply because it is generally descriptive of girls and women.  I call bullshit.  It’s negative because being bossy is in no way positive.  Strong, professional, accomplished women are NOT bossy. It is interesting to note that these “bossy” girls are being portrayed as both “strong” and the “victim” simultaneously. That they are being both chastised and congratulated for behaving in… [Read more]

Nov 06
mom-and-daughter-laptop

Sometimes I admire women who really know what they want in their 20’s and truly wait to have kids until they are well into their 30’s. Other times, I’m glad I’ve got the experience almost completely out of the way in my early years to enjoy the later years with my man. However, there is that one thing that I cannot get past, who am I without my daughter? While we are on the verge of taking SAT’s and ACT’s, up to our necks in college applications and tours, her need to spend all of her spare time with her friends, I am left with the question of who I am. I never got a chance to experience adult things without the baby in tow or the burden of finding a baby sitter, or worse, sitting at home when a baby sitter was not available…. [Read more]

Sep 17
star-wars-a-new-hope

“I Bet All The Nerds Loved Princess Leia” – K’ For a Sci-Fi fan, there is nothing more pleasurable than revealing one of your favorite stories or movies to a person who has never read, seen or experienced it. Even better is if that person is a child. Just think about it. Blowing a youngling’s mind with Star Wars, Aliens, or Terminator is just as rewarding as getting a chance at watching it all over again. This weekend I got that chance as I sat with my 16yr old Padawan and broke out the original Star Wars Trilogy for her to experience for the first time. While I expected her to fall in love with the series just like everyone else has. What I didn’t account for was her bringing my attention to a number of things that clashed with modern culture (stay-tuned). Though K’(that… [Read more]

Sep 11
raising-a-teenager

From the time my teenage daughter was a toddler, people have often commented on how “good” and “polite” she is when we are in public. When she comes home from a sleepover, the parents tell me she is welcome back at any time. Other parents often ask me how I raised such a great kid. I chalk it up to the fact that I made sure that my daughter and I remain close throughout the years, and she tells me she loves me daily.  Many will argue that raising a child is one of life’s most difficult tasks for those who are fortunate (or unfortunate) enough to experience it. Most have their opinion as to which stage is the hardest – newborns, terrible twos, tweens, or teenagers. My vote hands down is teenagers. They encompass all of the bad things that come with the other… [Read more]