Have you ever opened a door for someone, or held it open out of courtesy only to be scoffed at or unappreciated for doing so? Chances are after a few times of experiencing this within a given area, you will stop doing it and conform to the ways of the people around you. If you are the type who doesn’t look for a “thank you” or a smile in return for your graciousness then more power to you, you are a rarity. For most people however, a show of courtesy deserves a show of gratitude in return. Think about it, when someone opens a door for you or helps you up into a train etc., a simple smile and nod or a “thank you” does not take much at all. When you do not return this to the helper, you are instantly seen as a snooty, bitch with a sense of entitlement or an ax… [Read more]

At a very young age our parents have always taught us that being nice to people was a great quality to have.  Think about all the times when you were young and you didn’t want to share your toys with the other kids, and your parents told you to “be nice”.  Also remember the saying of “treat people how you want to be treated”? Those were all concepts and theories that was taught to us when we were growing up.  Unfortunately when it comes to relationships there are times when you can be too nice, too selfless, and too considerate.  When those types of features are present it can put your current relationship or your chances of getting that person you are pursuing in jeopardy.  Here are a few examples to help you see if you fall into that category of the person that’s “too nice”. One of the first signs people pick up on… [Read more]

Lets face it folks, when you find someone to love, you tend to get a lot of good out of it but there are some bad things that can come into the mix. One of the bad things about the relationships is you tend to fall within an unhealthy comfort zone. The extra time which was spent in the gym or Club (building the sexy body needed to attract the next person) is replaced with eating out in restaurants, ordering in and watching television on the couch. Pretty soon into the relationship you cease to look like an athlete and begin to look like a traditional mom or dad. So what makes relationships so fattening? I’ll tell you what it is, working out is either a chore to you, or you aren’t paying enough attention to yourself. What most experts suggest you do is to use your partner as a springboard to promote proper nutrition… [Read more]

I am a woman with many strictly platonic relationships with men over the past decade or so.  We are friends not because of some undercover attraction, but because we have either gone through something together or have just always been there for each other like family.  Recently, one of my boys reconnected with his old high school sweetheart and is head over heels. I hadn’t heard such joy in his voice in years so when I saw her name in my Facebook inbox, my first thought was “oh, maybe she’s trying to throw him a surprise birthday party or something”. But then I remembered he was born in March.  Considering that I never even met the girl I couldn’t think of a reason other than here comes the drama, why is this chick writing me”.  So I read it: “Nia, Nia, Nia: Hi there. I gotta admit, when I first got back in contact with… [Read more]

You’ve probably heard the saying don’t blame the player blame the dame, but what kind of boys do you have, if you can’t trust them to leave your girl. I remember the first time I ran into this problem was when I dated a really attractive girl in college. Some of my supposed friends thought it was cool to try and get with her behind my sleeping back, unknowing that she was reporting back to me about every incident. There seems to be two very different opinions on this thing, each placing the brunt of the responsibility on either side. What I mean is we have guys who believe that it’s the ultimate test of their girl’s loyalty if she can suffer the whims of the crowd and then there are guys who believe that their boys should know better, even if their girl is giving them positive feedback when they push up on her…. [Read more]

I know I am going to get a ton of flack for this article but I am taking one for the team. God knows I will be whipped and tied to the “tree of woe” for this but it must be done. In the dating world, we tend to meet all types, you get the nice folks, the manipulative folks and the too perfect folks. Everyone writes about personality types, hell we here at the Dragon Blog are guilty of that too… but what about jobs? Doesn’t the nature of a person’s job weigh heavily on a relationship too? Now, you “married out of high school” people should play the sidelines on this one, this is for the troopers who have been in the trenches and have dated an emo nurse or pissy waitress. We all know that the job is extremely important in your partner’s temperament and sometimes a certain career path will lead… [Read more]

I recently read an article that basically stated that marriage is a dying, archaic institution, especially for Black folks.  Marriage is to partnerships what Beta-Max was to the revolutionizing of in home movie viewing.  If 30 is the new 20, as professed by Jay Z, and we all agree that 20 is hot,  then marriage is like 104 years old.  Suffice to say, it is not hot.  It is allergic to being hot. Now, as a married woman of some years (even that ever crucial 5th one), I can’t, for the life of me, understand what the problem is.  Marriage offers so many benefits, why would one try so hard to avoid it?  First off, umm… the tax break.  And please don’t mess around and throw a kid or two on top of that (only your own please), it’s like Uncle Sam is making it rain and you are the gleeful recipient.  Single Super Mama,… [Read more]

Have you ever been walking along listening to you ipod and a song comes on that either moves you to want to break out in full Flashdance mode, or break down crying like the end of “Imitation of Life?”  And all you can think is that you want someone else to hear it and feel what you feel…but you cant.  Later, you try to describe the song  and how it made you feel to someone, but they look at you like you’re crazy, but offer you affirmative responses, like they get it, when you both know they don’t.  You both know that they can’t get it; it’s impossible.  Because it wasn’t just that song it was that moment.  It was yours, alone. That’s what a argument between two people who love each other is like.  Everyone walking through life with uncomfortable, ill-fitting ear buds in, listening to our own soundtrack.  Taking them off only long… [Read more]