Sep 23

I hate Christmas, well hate is a powerful word but I hate what Christmas does to people.

For someone that hates pretentious ideals and things, seeing a holiday where people purposefully make themselves go broke is beyond depressing. It’s like a drug that we are all forced to take.

DRINK THE EGGNOG BITCH! DRINK IT!

December rolls in, people’s lights go up in decorations that spike their light bills, bills are forsaken in lieu of buying gifts for loved ones and for 30 days we pretend as if it’s all love. Harry Connick Jr. is singing his ass off on the radio right after the late great Nat King Cole. Carols are being played all over the place and the temperature drops.

Some people take it as an opportunity to celebrate family and make their way “home” as hardcore as possible to see mom and dad. Capitalists leech off of people’s ignorance, purchasing 100 Nintendo Wii’s or whatever game system is all the rage to resell them at double the price.

Ahh the magic of Christmas, and who’s at the helm of this glorious party of excess and expenditure? A fat man that loves children – but don’t be fooled, the bastard owns a sweatshop of elves grinding their asses off to make gifts that oddly enough… you paid for. Wait a minute… I guess Don Santana has to wet his beak – at your expense.

So with that being said I would urge you Denizens of The Hall to start your shopping now. I would hate to see more people hurting and crying for their income tax returns post 12/25 like I have in the past. It hurts less when you shop through out the year so let’s make Christmas a little more painless this year and get proactive on the gifting.

See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.