Mar 15

Is it realistic to “date” a married man? I don’t mean the dude who has moved out on his own and is just waiting for the ink to dry on his divorce papers. I mean the dude who goes home to his wife after he is through hugged up with you! And you know for the few that has “worked out”, it is like counting the number of people you personally know that have won the lottery. For me? That is zero!

A friend of mine had her heart serious broken recently, because her boyfriend went on vacation with his wife!!! Get freakin’ real. You are trying to carry water in a basket! What is the purpose of asking who is she? What’s her name? Why are you still with her? Where are we going… While you are creeping?

Some women see an advantage in dating a married man, because she doesn’t have to do any of the domesticated things such as the cooking, washing, and cleaning. She is the princess that gets taken out to secluded restaurants, clandestine trips, gifts, words of endearment etc. all in return for letting his eyes roll to the back of his head, while she spuriously drives home the message – “I am better than your wife!” Every encounter is an adventure with none of the boredom or predictability of marriage. This is the self-serving woman who puts things in her purse-pective – “what you can do for me now”. She is NOT interested in the fluidity or conformity of water. Her basket is to catch those tangible goodies and it works just fine.

So, if you are trying to date a married man, you need to wake up and have a serious conversation with yourself. Here are some questions to get you started.

  1. Really and truly, what are your expectations? Can you squeeze a grape and get apple juice?
  2. What if the shoe were on the other foot? If you do become his wife, what will prevent him from doing the same to you?
  3. Can you truly trust him?
  4. Where is your self-esteem in all of this? What do you deserve?
  5. If your fists are closed trying to hold onto water, how will you grab hold of a real opportunity when it comes by?

Holding on to a promise that will never be fulfilled, is like a thirsty man carrying a basket to the river to fetch water!!

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  • Dating with a married man is not realistic and wife decision as a women. I deserve a full love and time for the man, who will treat the ONLY WOMAN in his life. I don’t want that this married man will hurt me and makes my heart broken in the end. I don’t want to experience that one day if i need him most, he can’t be by my side because he is with his wife and children (if any).

    A friend my mine experience those thing, and i don’t want to happen that situation to me. Tonight, i will be having a date with a guy and now I’m searches in the internet if he is married or not using the marriage record online ( and other site) because i don’t want to fall in love with a married man.

    I’m very exciting for tonight. Wish me luck! 🙂

  • Hi Elizabeth,
    Happy New Year! I trust your date went well, an that you might have entered the new year with a committed relationship.

    Thank you for your comment. I commend you on doing the work beyond the simple ask. I went to the site you suggested, but did not feel inclined to pay the fee just to be nosy about a few few folks I know (LOL).

    If all of us as single women made this much effort, we could singled handedly wipe out adultery. Problem is, there are those of us who have no problem being takers, knowing full well this relationship has no noble climax. On another side, there are also those of us who feel we are God’s gift to a broken man, and we are going to save him from his screwed up life, and make his dreams come true.

    Bottom line – we have to desire more for ourselves and set the bar above our heart. The chances increase that we will rise with fleas if we continue to sleep with dogs…