A woman relates to men VERY differently when her father passes away. I never really got to spend time with my father before he passed away. It changed my entire perspective of what relationships are like, meant to be like, and what they are supposed to be about. Your dad (for a woman) is a sounding board. When any asshole messes up your life, you go to him.
I don’t have that luxury. I don’t know what it feels like to have a dad and even to be loved by one. That’s not to say that my dad doesn’t love me, of course he does – and i love him back; but to really experience and feel that love… I don’t know what it feels like.
I don’t know what it feels like to have a man in the house because I don’t even have a brother; so I learnt how to carry heavy boxes, drill holes into walls, change car tires and light bulbs, assemble wardrobes and everything… by myself. It’s scary because it’s not like anyone is going to be helping me to do it anytime soon.
“Dating? Good God, that’s an even scarier situation.”
Not having a dad brings about issues of abandonment. And in that, you’re forever terrified that someone is going to leave you. Fortunately for me, I’ve worked through that fear to the point where I don’t care if a man wants to leave me. He’s most welcome to after explaining himself and why he wants to.
Relationships are hard because you feel very, very lonely. Again, I come back to that sounding board thing. Sometimes you just need some masculine advice and you have no one to turn to. You need the oil in your car changed, you need someone to help you out with a few extra bucks, you need someone who you can look to for authority instead of doing everything yourself. Essentially, you end up becoming superhuman because as a woman who can never turn to her dad, you’re left with no other choice.
For me personally, relationships are very hard to maintain (although I try my best at them), because I honestly don’t know what it’s LIKE to relate to the first man in my life, never mind any other man. All I know however is who is worthy and who isn’t worthy of love and respect from me.
Nadia Arain is the author of the STRONG WOMAN’S GUIDE TO ULTIMATE SUCCESS. She is an accomplished model, author and motivational speaker with a valid interest in improving the lives of women that find difficulty in adjusting to this modern world. If you have read any of Nadia’s other articles here on the Hall then you know that there is no question about her strength and confidence.
Check out Nadia’s book The 21st Century Spartanite: The Strong Woman’s Guide To Ultimate Success at Amazon.com and tell them The Dragon sent you!
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