A few times I have been blindsided by a woman giving me a compliment and having to fight my male assumptions to accept it and move on without playing myself. It took a long time of receiving compliments, assuming them to be flirting, returning the flirt and getting shot down for doing so, to get to this point of nonchalance. I’ve learned that women may flirt, but their version and our version are very different and it’s easy to misread their intent or overshoot your possibilities.
Intelligent Reality vs P.Brain Lusting
As a man we have 2 ways of thinking that can assist or negate our ability to co-exist properly with women. When you meet a woman and she breaks pattern to do things like:
- buy you a drink
- compliment you
- grab you on the ass
- grab your package
We get excited, we freeze – confused, wondering why she would do such a thing, ego takes over and then we begin to react. The reaction that occurs is not through well thought out logic, it is a reaction out of lust. We think with our penis, we develop the porno brain, or as I like to call it the devastating “P.Brain”.
P.Brain comes about when we assume that we are on the set of life’s grand porno stage and we are the stud with the 12 inch monster. We assume that the woman breaks code because of our irresistible machismo and she can’t help but put her hands on it, or tell us how beautiful our smile is. In reality the girl is a huge flirt and nothing more, she isn’t willing to pull the trigger on going back to your apartment and she gets shy and annoying if you stick around too long talking to her.
No my male friend, you were a victim of a woman flexing her privilege… I know it sucks.
What to Do When She Starts…
Immunity to these supposed “innocent games” came with experience for me. Sometimes you have to give her a hard question if you’re not in the mood for it “you gonna make good on that or did you just want to feel how big I was?” or “Thanks for the compliment, you however have a lovely pair of eyes on you” – put it back in her court. If she shrugs it off then go back to whatever it was you were doing, if she keeps going then you have a live one.
The best memory I have about fighting P.Brain was a business meeting I had with a community of people. I was the only stranger there and the lot of them were small business owners that needed web design – a grand opportunity. I went about my sales pitch, mingled afterwards, swapped business cards and smiled a whole hell of a lot so when I left I felt good about my chances of a few calls post-meeting. On my way out one of the members, a rather tasty looking raven haired woman walks quickly by me, looks back with a smile and announces “you know you are a very good looking man”. Smiling despite myself, embarrassed that the whole room was on me, I took it as a compliment and went home.
P.Brain was telling me to pursue her, get her number, see if she wanted me to knock it out behind the Country Club… you know dumb, unrealistic, porno things. But I had been down that road too many times to know better. She had my card, if I was THAT good looking and if she was THAT horny then she’d call me. Of course she wasn’t, it was a compliment by a confident bird that knew she’d never see me again. Nothing more.
So unless your name is Mr. Marcus, Brian Pumper or Peter North, you have to realize that many times women are playful, and a flirt is a flirt. Other times like when a group of them grab your ass as you pass by, they may just be “being guys” at your expense to return some sexist favor. All in all it’s all games, don’t take it serious and you’ll make it out alright.See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.