“Dear Dragon, I am on the last nerve with my wife who has not had a job now for almost a year, doesn’t put any effort in finding one and bitches when I bring it up to her. We have been married for 4 years and we went through this on year 1 when she was unemployed and sitting home watching TV all day. The last time I yelled at her she got a job for a while but hated it and ended up getting fired. Now it’s the same thing, she doesn’t even cook or clean for me to consider her a housewife, I am basically her bitch that brings home the money. How do I get her to grow the hell up?” – William.T
So you’ve married a bum and are now pissed off at that bum for being a bum? This may not be the answer that you’re looking for but you chose to marry an unemployed person, I cannot sit here and believe that the writing wasn’t on the walls somehow. Let me guess, she’s fine as all hell and that was all that mattered when you dropped a couple checks on an engagement ring and married her? Now that money is tight and you’re tired, you’re expecting your princess to magically grow up and assume a role in the relationship?
I’ve read similar stories from men and women that have let it go on for over 10 years, some people don’t change my friend, it may be time to pull out an ultimatum and make good of it.
What if you’re screwed my friend? It would be a long journey of heartache, alimony and court fees if you decide that enough is enough and that divorce would be better than wasting your life with a loser. How is your sex life by the way?
Okay that’s a bit extreme, I am sure you love this woman but after 4 years your heart to heart may not be as effective as it would have been on year one… Give her the “Coming to Jesus” speech William, you have no choice or you need to reserve yourself to being the bread-winner, house cleaner and slave of the house. If she’s screwing your brains out nightly then you may need to wait till pillow talk time to drive the point home… I’m hoping she’s at least doing that?
Whatever you do just reason with her and force her to make a hard decision. I firmly believe that the conversation will at least end with her promising to improve her efforts to get up off her ass. Hear her side of things too man, she could be chemically depressed and if she is then yelling and screaming won’t change a damn thing. Make sure you’re calm and collected when you approach her about it.
To single people out there reading, please remember: life sucks, so don’t marry a complete stranger if you can help it. Find a woman/man that shares your values (yes including ambition and work ethic), a person who respects you and would not be cool with playing you like this poor bastard’s wife. Most importantly, take time to know him/her prior to linking up so that if they’re a lazy bum, the red flags will present themselves early.See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.