“I met this young lady at the gym and we had a few conversations then I asked her to lunch. She accepted the invite with the understanding that I knew her source of income (She told me off the top). My plan was just to have a good time but then I got to know her. She’s been there for me when noone else has. She makes me feel comfortable enough for me to think she’s not cheating or hoeing her self… But anything is possible. Can I marry this woman, under this situation?” – Jimmy
Hey Jim, thanks for writing me about this lovely lady of yours. It sounds to me like you have some doubts my man and doubts will make that whole “eternal trust” thing a tad too complex to be happily married (just my opinion). What you need to do is come to terms with yourself on this mistrust and consider the worst and how you would feel if that is true.
Your girl dances nude (or close enough) on the laps of perverted old bastards whose intent is to grope her goodies and relish the memory so that they can go finish it off later. Are you okay with this, or does it make you angry? What if for an extra yard your girl finishes off that old bastard on occasion? Can you honestly call it cheating if in fact it’s her job and has been her job prior to meeting you and her telling you that it is her job?
In a way, I believe that guys who date strippers and aren’t frequenters of the club she works in – should look at it the way porno boyfriend looks at it. Your love has to be way beyond sex, physical attraction and possessiveness. Porno boyfriend owns his lady’s heart, but he knows her body is what she makes her money with so he knows he doesn’t necessarily own it. The same can be said about swinging couples, open marriages, etc., etc. Are you willing to get down on that level with this girl, or are you trying to change the game?
If you answer yes to most of what I have asked then I say yes, you can marry that woman in that situation.
In your situation you met the girl outside of the strip club, got to know her as a person, fell in love with that person and she told you upfront that she strips. That is completely different from what I have been talking about with the guys who turn from Stripper John to lover. This girl that you met, you said that she’s held you down and you now have strong feelings for her and it’s a beautiful thing.
I do hope for your sake that you have a little bit of a dark side in you also where you can relate to the type of business that she is in and that you’re not a complete square in that facet. The reason I say this is because you being the standard square may make her feel as if she has to lock that part of her life away since you will not understand.
I do appreciate you asking me my opinion since I’ve written some negative (and positive) articles about strippers. In this situation it is completely up to how ready you are for her world and I wish you both the best of luck with one another.See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.