“Hey Greg, when I read on message boards about what men dislike that we girls do in bed, laying still during missionary seems to be the number 1. What exactly do you want us to do when we’re on our backs? What do you expect from us? It isn’t a flexible position to hump you guys back, so what else can a gal do but lay still?” – Elise.J
Hey Elise, when it comes to missionary it is the subtleties that count in terms of feedback. Many women get confused when they hear men complain about women who “just lay there” or “do nothing” when we’re on top because you view the position as one of relaxed acceptance.
While we man may be doing the majority of the work, the one thing that we are looking for is feedback on our performance. It doesn’t have to be a verbal “yes that’s the spot baby”, or having you transform into Xenia Zaragevna Onatopp and squeeze the life out of us with your legs. It’s subtle sexy things that indicate that you are having as good a time as we are trying to coast to that climactic finish.
The feedback from missionary has been mastered by many women in the adult industry, so if you have no aversion towards “watching the pros”, you can look for clues as to how to reciprocate in almost any adult movie. Classic stars such as Asia Carrerra, Jeanna Fine, Janine Lindemulder and Nina Hartley were all masters of “feedback” and the things they did were always subtle, sexy, and extremely hot.
The following list is a number of items that I personally believe will convey your enjoyment and satisfaction to a man whenever he is on top during coitus:
- Biting your lip so it does that cute little curl thing.
- Throwing your head back as if surrendering your entire being to him.
- Placing your feet on his shoulder, chest, in the crook of his arm, or behind your head.
- Play with his chest, nipples, caress his arms – these things makes us feel manly.
- Help your pleasure along by doing what you’d do without him there – it’s sexy to us.
- Relax and let your inner freak loose… nothing is out of bounds.
I don’t think that any of this asking too much, but I know that many women don’t realize that it is these type of things that men ask for when missionary is at play. If you want to really blow his mind then do the subtle things in missionary, then push him off for your turn at cowgirl, reverse cowgirl or any number of other positions that allow you to show him your talents.
But what you shouldn’t be doing is:
- Throwing your hips up as if in competition with his thrusts (unless you can match him perfectly)
- Using your foot to push him away.
- Laying still and looking off to the side as if you want him to go away (unless you want him to).
- Make loud, obviously false, screams of ecstasy as if you are in a 70’s era porno.
- Ask him “what?” when he stares into your eyes… we stare because you’re beautiful, just let it happen.
Lady in the street and a freak in the bed
What I mean by all of this is that we men aren’t looking for you to put in a lot of work when we are on top… Not at all. We just want you to touch us, touch yourself, bite your lip and just… move. Most men fear the thought of a wife or girlfriend who ends up laying still for sex as if this was yester-year when it wasn’t “proper” for a lady to accept sex.
Just think about it, men watch a lot of porn and the women in those movies act as if they are having the time of their lives despite the position. Not “laying still” is to show us that you are as into it as we are… sure there are some guys who won’t notice because they’re savages but the majority of us want you to have a good time.See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.