Jun 07


“Hey Greg, love your site – I’ve been a regular reader for some time and I sometimes come across these titles for men that are used here. Lately I’ve been trying to see which one I would fall under if any of them apply. I am married, love to cook and help my wife do chores around the house, I also keep a garden and do yard work. I am serious about living clean and smelling good, but I also like NFL, MMA, Spike TV and general guy stuff.

I’ve been called a metrosexual from friends before but I wanted to hear it from the master of labels before I own it. What kind of man am I?” – Alan

Hey Alan, it sounds to me like you’re the safe, “good guy” that many women claim they want but rarely ever get due to their attraction to the jerky boys. Being metrosexual is only a part of your make-up, hell the term is largely misunderstood and is misused as a sort of “straight man who does gay things” diss to men who take care of themselves. A metrosexual is a man who cares about his looks; back in the day people used to call them “dandies” and now there are other terms such as “divos” to describe it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a “clean” gentleman in the fashion department so to be called a metrosexual in your situation is a compliment to your dress and grooming habits.

If I were to label you (as an outsider) I would call you a Beta Man. The Beta male is the guy who does everything right by society, he marries, has kids, loves his wife, compromises with her on things, does things that would traditionally be a “woman’s job” (cooking) and doesn’t stray outside of the lines too often. People use beta interchangeably between negative and positive because at the end of the day it stands for “average” or “normal”.

People will make fun of you for things that aren’t really offensive because you’re too “normal” to think of anything else. The Beta spectrum is wide and a man doesn’t have to be within every sub-category of it, but from what you have said in your letter I can honestly say that the Beta Male label is what applies.

Alphas lead the world, Betas keep it going, and Omegas rebel against it all by choosing to do nothing.

See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.
  • Antonio M. Daniels

    Sounds like a genuinely great guy to me. Many women aren’t, however, appreciative of a guy who fits this type, which, of course, is quite unfortunate. I encourage him to keep doing the things he’s doing.

  • Carly

    What?? These great men still exist? Thank goodness – there is hope for us yet! For those women who are seemingly “not attracted” to betas are likely to be those chasing the smoke perpetrated by the media, story books, and spurned single matrons, and typically end up with the Omegas. The reality of our society today where both partners work and need to share the responsibility equitably, this is the behavior that demonstrates that you care. Love is a verb. Way to go Alan!