Jun 02

“Dear Dragon, there’s this guy I met recently and being the nice person I am, I didn’t exactly push him away. When I finally told him I have a boyfriend it seems as if it made him more aggrsssive. Almost as if it made me more appealing. Am I crazy or do guys get off on the fact that the woman is already spoken for?”Cenise.R

Cenise that man knows that he cannot win you over but is bullying around in his own bullshit to see if he can get in your panties for bragging rights. It’s an extremely silly game that we play, especially guys that aren’t exactly cool.

WARNING: The following explanation has very strong language so reader beware.

Most Some men take great pleasure in cutting another man’s balls off to assume dominance through ridicule. It is such a pleasant game to us that we take pleasure in lightly jabbing at one another in order to goad laughter from our fellows. With that being said, a guy having the pleasure of bragging to his friends that he slept with an enemy’s woman is the sweetest thing. The song “Hit em up” by the late Tupac Shakur shows this plainly as Tupac starts the song by saying “That’s why I f@!ked your bitch you fat motherf@!*ka!” See that there is some fighting words.

Now for the average Joe this type of thing should be considered childish but we do subscribe to it. One of the greatest emcees of my generation Jeru Tha Damaja made a memorable verse which said “If your honey’s a queen I’ll sex her”, because it is accepted that a man who isn’t respected will have his woman taken. It’s another form of puffing out one’s chest and yelling out “Alpha!” in hopes of making it true. Though realistically most of us may WANT to sex your queen, but we won’t ever try it (unless she shows interest). Long story short, it’s false bravado meant to threaten a guy’s manhood, not so much a true desire for lust. The only guys practicing the art of sleeping with another man’s woman are either Horn Dogs that would do it anyway, or potential targets to a jealous man’s gun. All men know that sleeping with a man’s lady is suicide, it’s akin to slapping a man in the face with your open hand. It’s a manhood threat, “cross me and I’ll fuck your girl”. It’s as if the woman has no say in it – which is ridiculous.

So Cenise you can add this manly trait unto the same set as adjusting balls, slapping each other on the ass and ogling women’s backsides. It’s just something we do that has no rhyme or reason. Men tend to use sex as a weapon in our speech without thinking about what we are really saying. We tell people to suck our dicks, kiss our asses and lick our nuts as if it were the same as saying “go eat shit”. Yet if some man offered these services to us (straight males) we would probably back away slowly uttering a ton of epithets about the guy being gay. We just don’t know what we say sometimes… forgive us.

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  • Men are strange creatures. But I thought they only did that more-stranger crap in the movies! I’ve got a question in that regard… in the Movie Why Did I Get Married… is Mike typical? I know brothas come in all flavors of ridiculous, and TP has to exaggerate to make a point.. But that dude’s uncool method of bragging by bringing his cheating toy to a family event and his crude behavior toward his wife seemed so… atypical. The flick just reeked of bad writing and any semblance of realism it might of had — went down the drain every time Mike opened his mouth. (Too bad Angie’s behavior was all too real) ‘You know what I’m sayin’?

    • Hi Jackie you’ve inspired an article for the future “Tyler Perry knows nothing about men”. The Mike character was not only exaggerated, he was downright ridiculous – look MEN would not even be cool with a guy that treated his wife that way an parades his side-piece around them like that. It violates man law because it forces us to lie to the wife when interrogated. Cheating men are smarter than that. TP wrote him as a caricature that had to be 100% hated, realism be damned so you would be loathe to find anyone like him in life. People who carry on like him lose all their friends and they would side with her.

  • nia syrah

    this is so very true. i think, aside from the douche bag who just wants to have his bragging rights, some guys really do like a challenge. and it is definitely a challenge to get a woman away from her man. i’d be a very rich woman if i had a dime for every time that i said “i got a man” and his response was “what your man got to do with me?”..