When I first wrote this article it was entitled “Dear Penthouse (Strip) Club – you suck!” but as you scan the commentary below you will see that I was invited to return by Daisy a dancer at the establishment. Needless to say after revisiting Penthouse and witnessing the change and return to normalcy, I will be returning again and again and it has been re-established as The Dragon’s preferred club for naked beauties and delicious food.
When I entered the Penthouse, I noticed that there were more girls of diverse backgrounds, more open space and the food was great as normal. I dined with my fellows and paid attention to the names as I looked for “Daisy” since it was due to her that I returned to the Club that I had sworn to never return to after my awful experience not even a year ago. Expecting the skinny blonde stereotype, I was shocked to find Daisy to be a dark-haired, gym forged femme who wore a Derby hat and a beautiful smile to match. Looking very much about her business, I played the night out patiently until she happened close and I asked my friend to bring her over. Asking about the prices for dances, Daisy ran me down the various types of dances and their cost to which I chose the entrepreneur’s delight (of course the cheapest one) and asked her to dance for me near my dinner table. When she sat on my lap to await the next song I mentioned her comment below and her shock was so genuine I had to smile despite myself. Daisy was a sweetheart and she gave me one of the best dances I have had in my overly experienced 15+ years of Strip Clubbing along with some excellent nerd-caliber conversation that lasted for hours. We discussed naughty hentai, computer hardware, education and liquor all while downing shots, inhaling buttery soft salmon and sipping on Ketel One vodka Martinis amidst the shots that went around and around the table. If Daisy is any sign of what Penthouse has to offer then be sure to bring your ass there the next time you are near Tampa Bay.
Us bloggers/writers have an audience and at times when we get slighted our rants can cause more harm than intended on an establishment or person. When good people like Daisy step up bravely to ask for a second opinion on their beloved work places then I think it is our responsibility to give it another chance. Penthouse blew us away on our visit and it wasn’t due to us being enormous tricks or sucker johns for some sneaky women, no it was due to Daisy, the new roster of ladies at the Penthouse and one extremely cute shot girl by the name of Jessica (who looked as if she could cry when she spilled tequila all over me). While I do not regret what I wrote originally about the decline of my favorite Gentleman’s Club, I feel it necessary to say that my article is old news and Penthouse is back on the menu.
Go see the girls, eat some rich food by Chef Alex and tip the acrobats doing stunts on their new vertical pole. There are features, beautiful diverse women, rich fat cats hogging up all the hawtes and enough liquor to make the occasional vampire look like a bombshell. Trust me, you will enjoy yourself – I know I did, thanks Daisy!
Original Article: Dear Penthouse (Strip) Club – You Suck!
You know I held off on writing this because I thought it would make me look like the worst kind of Herb but I no longer care. Penthouse you were my last bastion of hope for the Strip Club. You allowed me to stare at a nice variety (Emphasis on this word) silicon breasts on birthdays, celebrations etc. while I dressed sharp, drank your wine and paid for you excellent cooking. BUT the last three visits have been – for lack of a better word – an abortion. The last time was so bad in fact that my friend burnt $40 getting us into the Mons Venus to look at their 100% blonde, skinny and busty recipe in hopes of salvaging my birthday. What happened Penthouse? I’m sorry I am going to air this out to the potential visitors to Tampa Bay who wish to partake in the one thing that we are known for – awesome Strip Clubs. If you come to Tampa and you aren’t an athlete, a friend of the owner or random rich dude banging one of the strippers, you would be better off fighting the crowd of hard legs within a Mons Venus than being ignored by the below average strippers of Penthouse.
The establishment which milked hundreds of dollars from our hardworking pockets has turned into a great big’ol “why am I here?” Within the span of one year. Is it the recession? Did you make your already ridiculous rules for the strippers even more ridiculous? Are you getting that much money from the Tampa Bay Buccaneer bench to dick off regular customers or what? No worries, I’m done, but since I used to show so much love for you here at the Hall I figured I needed this article to set the record straight for anyone that reads the old stuff and get misled.
What happened to the girls? Did it dry up that badly? Our visitation was at most 5 times a year but I remember the names of the girls who made our stay worthwhile. They used to be there whenever we visited and they seemed happy enough because business was good. Girls like Michelle, Tyra, and Porsche – they were exotic, friendly and most of all engaging to their patrons. The last time we went, we had one single, solitary girl proposition a dance from us and she frikkin smelled, for me that was the last straw. Screw you Penthouse, get better, and if you do holler at me on the contact form. For now I will keep you as a good memory for good eats, good company and a professional experience. I won’t waste another dime on what you have going on right now. You are on 2001 Space Odyssey’s level with the cokehead vampires you have dancing there. Damn it man!See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.