Mar 30

When I first wrote this article it was entitled “Dear Penthouse (Strip) Club – you suck!” but as you scan the commentary below you will see that I was invited to return by Daisy a dancer at the establishment. Needless to say after revisiting Penthouse and witnessing the change and return to normalcy, I will be returning again and again and it has been re-established as The Dragon’s preferred club for naked beauties and delicious food.

When I entered the Penthouse, I noticed that there were more girls of diverse backgrounds, more open space and the food was great as normal. I dined with my fellows and paid attention to the names as I looked for “Daisy” since it was due to her that I returned to the Club that I had sworn to never return to after my awful experience not even a year ago. Expecting the skinny blonde stereotype, I was shocked to find Daisy to be a dark-haired, gym forged femme who wore a Derby hat and a beautiful smile to match. Looking very much about her business, I played the night out patiently until she happened close and I asked my friend to bring her over. Asking about the prices for dances, Daisy ran me down the various types of dances and their cost to which I chose the entrepreneur’s delight (of course the cheapest one) and asked her to dance for me near my dinner table. When she sat on my lap to await the next song I mentioned her comment below and her shock was so genuine I had to smile despite myself. Daisy was a sweetheart and she gave me one of the best dances I have had in my overly experienced 15+ years of Strip Clubbing along with some excellent nerd-caliber conversation that lasted for hours. We discussed naughty hentai, computer hardware, education and liquor all while downing shots, inhaling buttery soft salmon and sipping on Ketel One vodka Martinis amidst the shots that went around and around the table. If Daisy is any sign of what Penthouse has to offer then be sure to bring your ass there the next time you are near Tampa Bay.

Us bloggers/writers have an audience and at times when we get slighted our rants can cause more harm than intended on an establishment or person. When good people like Daisy step up bravely to ask for a second opinion on their beloved work places then I think it is our responsibility to give it another chance. Penthouse blew us away on our visit and it wasn’t due to us being enormous tricks or sucker johns for some sneaky women, no it was due to Daisy, the new roster of ladies at the Penthouse and one extremely cute shot girl by the name of Jessica (who looked as if she could cry when she spilled tequila all over me). While I do not regret what I wrote originally about the decline of my favorite Gentleman’s Club, I feel it necessary to say that my article is old news and Penthouse is back on the menu.

Go see the girls, eat some rich food by Chef Alex and tip the acrobats doing stunts on their new vertical pole. There are features, beautiful diverse women, rich fat cats hogging up all the hawtes and enough liquor to make the occasional vampire look like a bombshell. Trust me, you will enjoy yourself – I know I did, thanks Daisy!

Original Article: Dear Penthouse (Strip) Club – You Suck!

You know I held off on writing this because I thought it would make me look like the worst kind of Herb but I no longer care. Penthouse you were my last bastion of hope for the Strip Club. You allowed me to stare at a nice variety (Emphasis on this word) silicon breasts on birthdays, celebrations etc. while I dressed sharp, drank your wine and paid for you excellent cooking. BUT the last three visits have been – for lack of a better word – an abortion. The last time was so bad in fact that my friend burnt $40 getting us into the Mons Venus to look at their 100% blonde, skinny and busty recipe in hopes of salvaging my birthday. What happened Penthouse? I’m sorry I am going to air this out to the potential visitors to Tampa Bay who wish to partake in the one thing that we are known for – awesome Strip Clubs. If you come to Tampa and you aren’t an athlete, a friend of the owner or random rich dude banging one of the strippers, you would be better off fighting the crowd of hard legs within a Mons Venus than being ignored by the below average strippers of Penthouse.

The establishment which milked hundreds of dollars from our hardworking pockets has turned into a great big’ol “why am I here?” Within the span of one year. Is it the recession? Did you make your already ridiculous rules for the strippers even more ridiculous? Are you getting that much money from the Tampa Bay Buccaneer bench to dick off regular customers or what? No worries, I’m done, but since I used to show so much love for you here at the Hall I figured I needed this article to set the record straight for anyone that reads the old stuff and get misled.

What happened to the girls? Did it dry up that badly? Our visitation was at most 5 times a year but I remember the names of the girls who made our stay worthwhile. They used to be there whenever we visited and they seemed happy enough because business was good. Girls like Michelle, Tyra, and  Porsche – they were exotic, friendly and most of all engaging to their patrons. The last time we went, we had one single, solitary girl proposition a dance from us and she frikkin smelled, for me that was the last straw. Screw you Penthouse, get better, and if you do holler at me on the contact form. For now I will keep you as a good memory for good eats, good company and a professional experience. I won’t waste another dime on what you have going on right now. You are on 2001 Space Odyssey’s level with the cokehead vampires you have dancing there. Damn it man!

See some words or phrases that you don't understand? Check out The Dragon's Lexicon.
  • “…and she frikkin smelled” hahaha

  • Karisma

    yes she smelled like TUNA. I threw up in my mouth.

  • Daisy

    Wow.. did you go during day shift? And I remember Tyra, she actually got fired for robbing a customer and some of the girls lockers in the back, and Michelle was one of those girls that started fights with everyone. She was deported back to Belize a few months ago, but I don’t know why. And as far as the other girl, she was a sweetheart and I liked her but I’m not sure where she is now.

    A lot of girls don’t dance forever. Just because they are not there anymore doesn’t mean they left because the club has gone bad. maybe they finished school and got a job that doesn’t keep them up till 4 am every night and they can get through there shifts without having a drink every time they speak with a client. Trust me, this business is fun but it takes a serious tole on our bodies.

    Also you cant hold it against the entire staff of girls because one single girl had bad hygiene. There are tons of awesome girls that are still there, like Hannah,Jolie, Lexy, Daisy-me (who is awesome on the pole), Savannah, and Sandy. The club is still great with women from all over the international borders. I love Asian women and the ones at Penthouse are beautiful. I wouldn’t say the same for all the day shift girls but the club makes up for it by offering free lunch everyday before 2:00. And its still the same great food that it’s always been. And Day shift also offers two for one drinks after 2 until around 7. They understand that the changes in the economy have been a hard hit on Tampa. We have less traveling clientèle in the area and that causes the cash flow to stiffen to the point where some mild changes needed to be made. So they added a pole about 2 months ago to add a little more fun to the stage. It also gives the club an opportunity to have events like pole trick competitions. And those are always cool to watch.
    I’m sorry that you had a bad experience for your Birthday. I know I wasn’t there that night but I will personally apologize for the club. And if it makes a difference at all, I’d love to buy you a drink and try to show that the club is still what it has always been. It is a classy establishment with beautiful intelligent women who like to have a conversation, and an amazing menu, fine wine selection and a full bar with friendly staff that will remember your name the next time they see you.

    Just because I ate one bad peach, doesn’t mean I’ll never eat peaches again…lol… Stupid saying. But it’s true 🙂
    I hope I could shine a little light on the situation. Have a good day!

    • Hey Daisy, I gave the peaches another try and they turned out even sweeter than I remembered… despite the few rotten ones I left with. We had a ball, every one of us and you are an absolute sweetheart, thank you for being brave enough to rep your establishment after I tore it down. If there is anything I can tell yourself, Maria and the owner that makes Penthouse work it is the friendliness, atmosphere and oh my god the food… I had NO IDEA that salmon could stick to the roof of my mouth like the one I ordered… I literally inhaled it. Top notch cuisine as always and you, yes you made the visit out of this world. Thank you for my Ketel One Martini and a great time. Hopefully this won’t be the last time we stop by the Penthouse and see you, you have the looks and the attitude of a Lady Dragon, it was great meeting you!

  • Greg I am so glad we went back, this club did a complete 180 since the last time we were there. The club was poppin last night and had a completely different swag. The girls were more beautiful, the energy was better, and the food was just a delicious as I remember (Alex you rock). Shit even the patrons were extremely nice. The drunk dude who stole my seat at the stage shook my hand and apologized. Its as if the planets, stars, and quasars were in complete stellar alignment to accomplish Strip Club euphoria. Speaking of stars, there were three stars in particular last night:

    Grace – As always you are the best waitress ever, you hold a very special place in my heart Love!Take a day off for once in your life! Oh and that Ahi Tuna is delicious but goes straight to my hips!

    Jessica – To the best shot girl ever! Keep practicing those dance moves. Watch Soul Train and Yo Gabba Gabba reruns for new moves. Oh and stop apologizing, we are grown ass men, we don’t break easy! Except for our hearts and wallets. You are such a sweetheart!

    Daisy – What can I say you were friggin awesome and made last night. Please thank Maria for us. You opened our eyes again! But for your sake stop waching that hentai, it will make you go cross eyed!

    I will still be going to Mons Venus on occasion (can’t help it I have family that work there). But sometimes it’s not where you go but who your with. Daisy you’ve made it extremely difficult to pick between which club to go to. I may just have to flip a coin now!

    Those reading this if you haven’t been to the Penthouse lately you need to go. You won’t be dissappointed! Funshots For The Win!

  • Daisy

    Wow. I am completely and underly flattered!

    Thank you so much for giving us another opportunity to turn your experience around. I hope you guys come back soon! And keep an eye on our updates for current and upcoming feature shows. You can also add us on Facebook to get automatic updates to your page 🙂

    Greg, you are awesome. And I was very excited to introduce you to Gene the owner, and Maria, one of the best people I know. She runs a great establishment with a lot of energy.

    And Shinzo, Don’t hate on the Hentai, it keeps me alert! lol…

    Everyone had an amazing and memorable night and that’s our goal. We will stay focused on continuing the atmosphere that you expect and deserve.

    Daisy <3

  • PethDis

    Be glad you did not try and attend the Penthouse strip club
    newly opened in Perth Australia.

    We (my wife and I) have visited many clubs in the US. When
    we tried t get into the newly opened Penthouse in Perth we though finally
    things will change in Perth. Unfortunately the arrogant bouncer/security morons
    at the entrance decided we are not good enough because of some shoe bull with
    my partners open sandal. We are over 40 so might not look the part but we have
    been to these kind of clubs all over the world, never any issues. We never do
    this in Perth because of obvious reasons (if you live here you will know). We
    were so happy to hear a US club opened here. Low and behold, the club SECURITY
    has the same mentality as the rest of Perth crap underqualified bouncers. Hope you get enough assholes to turn your club
    into what all other Perth clubs turn into. Sleaze venues run by club SECURITY.
    Get some professional.